And the Rest is History
by Janiceelynn
Summary: Sometimes the only way to move forward is to take a step back. A short look at life after the events in New Beginnings. AH/OOC/Canon pairings.
1. Chapter 1

**Summary: **Sometimes the only way to move forward is to take a step back. Life after the events in New Beginnings; it's not always easy, but it's real. AH/OOC/Canon pairings.

**Disclaimer: **I don't own _The Twilight Saga_.

**Warning:** This is the _sequel _to _New Beginnings_. It does not stand alone. Rated 'M' for a reason.

* * *

**Chapter 1**

**Bella Swan**

I heard the front door open and close and then a loud, "Honey, I'm home!" as Edward walked through the hall of our small apartment.

I smiled, shaking my head as I closed my laptop. "That got old after the first week," I told him as he entered 'the office' also known as the spare bedroom with a bookshelf and a desk. He rolled his eyes at me and bent down to kiss me on the lips.

"How was your day?" he asked as he lifted me up, stealing my seat before pulling me back down onto his lap. I giggled at his antics and curled into his side.

"Great. Since it was nice out the kids and I went outside. We put that old court to use and played basketball." He winced dramatically and I slapped him in the chest. "Hey, I'm getting better. I even got it in once," I told him proudly, holding up one finger. He laughed and swivelled us around in the chair.

"I'm very proud," he offered, smiling before letting out a large yawn.

I frowned, dragging my thumb across the purplish bruises underneath his eyes. "You're tired, you should get some sleep," I told him.

He shook his head. "No, I'm starving. Let's eat first."

Agreeing, I climbed out of his lap, squealing when he smacked me on the ass and grabbed his hand to lead him into the kitchen.

"What do you feel like?" I asked him as I searched through the cupboards.

"Something quick," he told me.

Nodding, I reached in and grabbed the pasta, a pot and the spaghetti sauce. Filling the pot with water and a dash of salt, I moved aside as I waited for it to boil.

"So, how was work?" I asked him. He beckoned me closer and pulled me into his arms.

"Long and tedious. Mrs. Anderson brought in her son again." He frowned.

Mrs. Anderson, a forty year old cougar, had brought her young son into the hospital once where Edward was doing his residency at – the University of Washington Medical Center. He had just started this year and Mrs. Anderson's son was one of his first patients. He had come home that day complaining of the Jessica-like woman twice his age that wouldn't stop flirting with him. I had laughed at him then, telling him that that was God's way of punishing him for the way he acted in high school. He'd seen her son constantly since and for the most ridiculous things, he'd tell me, like a stubbed toe or the smallest bruise. Now, whenever she'd bring him in, he'd try and avoid her at all costs. I guess today he wasn't that lucky.

I laughed at him and pinched his cheek. "Aw, poor baby."

The water started to boil and I jumped away just in time to dodge another slap in the ass. I stuck my tongue out at him and poured in the pasta.

I groaned as the loud beeping noise woke me up. Edward jumped out of bed to hush it and quickly kissed me on the head with a whispered, "I love you," before sneaking out the door. Edward's beeper was taking its toll on my sleeping habits but more than me, I felt sorry for him. The poor thing hadn't even gotten six hours of sleep before being called back into the hospital.

This past year had been hectic. Edward and I both studied at the University of Washington, him in medicine and me working to get my bachelor in Professional Arts. We both lived in the dorms but after my graduation and Edward's start in residency, we finally decided to find a place together – hence the small two bedroom apartment.

School was pretty time consuming and us, along with the rest of our friends, had trouble finding time for each other. So after four years of schooling and keeping a relationship and my current friendships from falling between the cracks, I couldn't have been happier to walk that stage and open my next chapter; living with Edward.

Well, living with Edward had been harder than I thought. The first month was a mess of us unpacking and being unable to take our hands off of each other. I was excited to have that extra time with him to spend, and that freedom our own place would grant. But, and this I already knew, Edward was a slob. Though, to his defence, always being on-call could do that to a person; having to leave a meal mid-bite, grab things quickly, throw things out of your way in search of something.

And guess who cleaned it up?

Yeah, _me_.

But in the end I got to live with the man I loved.

Totally worth it.

"Hey Bella." The tall, sandy blond woman smiled as I entered her office and set aside her paperwork. "You're early, but I'm sure Jen won't mind," she told me with a wink.

I laughed and guessed, "Jackson still hasn't gotten over his crush, huh?" She shook her head and I laughed at the eight year old boy in love with my co-worker Jen as I moved to sit down.

"So did you guys find a placement for Brook yet?" I asked her, frowning at the thought of the precious little girl with a toothless grin, she was only three and still couldn't get adopted.

Laura shook her head sadly. "These kids are just too old. People these days want them fresh out the womb. It's a sin; some of these children have been here for years and will be until they turn eighteen. Then they're thrown out onto the streets." She picked up a file and handed it to me. "We got a new kid yesterday after you left. He's thirteen and came from a pretty rough home."

When I had to do my internship for school, I got placed in the Orphanage where I worked now. Laura was my mentor and she blew me away with her level of compassion for these kids. I understood as soon as I met them. It was hard to turn away and do nothing once I'd gotten to know them, so I finished out my last years at UDub focussing on human services and Laura hired me full time once I graduated.

I looked at the picture attached to the file she handed me. A young boy stared straight back at me, his face stoic and eyes dead, covered by his messy brown hair. The name on the file read, 'Noah Davis' and I frowned as I handed it back to her.

"Sometimes it hurts so much, and I'm not even the one who has to live through it every day," I told her, Noah's emotionless face still haunting me.

Laura nodded sadly, taking a final glance at his file before setting it aside. "Well, all we can do now is help them through it and hope for a smile at the end of the day."

The day was long but rewarding. I played with the kids all day, the older ones laughing each time my klutziness would make an appearance and the littler kids giggling because the others were. I just rolled my eyes and rolled with the punches; if falling put smiles on their faces then I'd do it a thousand times over.

After my shift I made my way home. Edward wasn't there yet and I doubted he'd come back at all, the way they hounded him.

Grabbing a quick bite to eat, I shredded my clothes and climbed into bed, letting the city sounds lull me to sleep.

I woke up to feather light kisses being placed down my stomach. I squirmed a little and moaned sleepily, the sound of Edward's deep chuckle forcing my eyes open. I grinned down at him, moving my hands – which had somehow managed to make their way into his hair – onto his shoulders.

"What cha doin' down there?" I asked teasingly, my voice still filled with sleep. He smirked and sunk a little lower, his tongue darting out and licking me just beside my belly button.

"I got hungry," he confessed, his eyes sparkling with mirth as his fingers hooked onto my panties.

I continued to play dumb. "Oh, well there's some leftover spaghetti in the fridge if you want it. I'll just go-" As I moved to get up, Edward's hands darted out and captured mine, holding them above my head as he shimmied back up my body.

"Not _that_ kind of hungry," was all he said before lowering his mouth to mine.

I grinned and brought my hands back up into his soft, messy hair as I let him deepen the kiss.

He made quick work of escaping out of his sexy light green scrubs, his lips only leaving mine to pull his shirt over his head.

His hands slid over my body, his eyes savouring the rise and fall of my chest. "You are so goddamn sexy," he groaned, dipping his head down to place open mouth kisses along the mounds of my breasts.

I hummed and dragged my hands down his back, lifting my torso up so that he could undo my bra.

"It feels like forever since I've touched you," he breathed as his hands moved back down to remove my panties. The cold air washed against my hot sensitive skin and I shivered.

"It has been," I said, my voice cracking as I felt his warm breath against me.

Edward hitched my right leg over his shoulder and looked up at me with a smirk before kissing the inside of my thigh. I whimpered, clenching and squirming in my spot in search of some kind of friction. Any I could find wasn't enough.

"Please," I begged. He chuckled against my skin before lowering his head, sweeping the inside of my lips with one long stroke of his hot, moist tongue. He drew lazily against my clit, humming lightly as he slid two fingers inside me and increased the pace. I moaned embarrassingly and bucked my hips against him.

I was so needy and so wet, so turned on that it wasn't long before I felt the pressure start to build. Desperate, my hands pushed him harder against me.

"I'm going- I'm gonna..." All of a sudden he stopped, his fingers slowly leaving me as he lifted his face from my clit. I nearly screamed. "No," I whimpered pathetically.

He crawled up my body, laying wet kisses along his path until he stopped just above my ear. "I'm going to bring you to the edge so many times tonight that you'll be begging, pleading me, for release. And even then I'll keep going until the need is so strong there's tears' in your eyes. I'm gonna make you come so hard you'll see stars." I clenched my fists into the sheets and groaned in frustration. His words did nothing to help ease the ache between my legs. And dirty talking Edward knew exactly what he was doing.

He climbed off the bed, leaving me there staring after him in pure need as he opened the closet door and pulled out a bag. I watched with narrowed eyes as he pulled something out, gasping at the object in his hand.

He shook the dark vibrator at me and smirked.

"What the-"

"I picked it up just for tonight," he told me, opening the package and pulling out the rubber toy.

I groaned, my flushed skin growing even hotter as he neared me.

He_ would_ do something like this.

Chuckling, he switched on the toy as he came closer to me, teasing me with the sound before dragging it down my stomach and circling my outer lips. My hips bucked as he reached my clit, the vibrations enough to drive me crazy. When he was satisfied I had had enough, he gently eased the toy into my achingly wet entrance. I bit my lip, my hands gripping the sheets, as I felt the combination of thrusts and vibrations pull me closer and closer to what I needed.

"More," I begged. My legs involuntarily spread wider for him, my hips bucking to match each movement of the toy.

Complying, he sped up and I moaned as my stomach tightened, my eyes falling shut.

And then he stopped.

"Fuck!" I screamed, pounding my fists into the mattress. I was _so_ already fed up with this game.

He laughed, kicking out of his briefs and reached into the nightstand to pull out a condom.

"I can't wait to be inside you," he said as he stroked himself in front of me. I watched each caress with hungry eyes; how his forearm tensed and his wrist flicked, his thumb sweeping over the head almost rhythmically as he collected the moisture there before dragging his hand back down.

"Please, Edward, please." I reached out for him, my hands searching desperately. He let out a low, breathy laugh and slid on the condom before lowering himself back over me.

"Since you asked so nicely," he teased, kissing me hard on the lips just as he plunged into me with one, long, hard stroke.

We both moaned and I clawed at his back as I rocked against him with fever, my body already glistening with sweat.

His eyes were closed as he thrusted hard against me, meeting my own with harsh slaps of wet skin, his grunts growing more frequent with each stroke.

My eyes clenched as I felt myself build up. He took a deep breath and slowed down, just as I was about to release. "No, no, no," I cried, throwing my head back as I tried to speed him back up. My body was so sensitive it was almost painful as he held me down and continued with his slow, torturous rhythm.

He grinned down at me, his eyebrows creased together as he held himself back and flipped us over so that I was now straddling him. "That's three," he told me.

I glared at him, fully aware of just how many times it was.

Making the best of the control this new position gave me I lifted myself up onto my feet and sank down onto his hard length. My nails dug into his chest, my head thrown back as I moved frantically above him.

"I love how sexy you are when you ride me," he moaned out, his fingers tightening around my waist.

I was going to implode if I didn't get to come soon.

"Harder please, faster," I begged in a breathy whimper. My eyes were closed tightly, my hands gripping Edward's chest as he quickened his pace below me, each thrust driving harder than the last. "There," I told him as I felt my body start to tense, the heat slowly spreading throughout my body. "Don't stop," I begged. "Please, _ung_, don't stop." He slid one hand off my hip and reached down, rubbing my clit frantically in hard circles and my stomach tightened quickly. I cried out, falling to my knees as I came so hard I saw bright white flashes behind my eyelids. My body was weak but Edward held me up and kept thrusting into me until I was thrown over the edge once more.

My body shook with the aftershocks of my organism, my center throbbing as Edward jerked and came inside me, my name falling from his lips.

"Jesus," I breathed, not bothering to move from my position. Edward's head fell back onto his pillow as he caught his breath.

"Yeah," he agreed, and I climbed off of him. He reached down to tug off the soiled condom and sat up, quickly tying it. With a groan, he climbed out of the bed and left the room, coming back a few minutes later with a moist cloth in his hand. After cleaning up, he slid back into bed, pulled me down onto his chest and started rubbing lazy circles on my back.

I felt something roll into my side and laughed when I picked up the toy from earlier, holding it up for Edward to see. "You couldn't even put it on the nightstand?" I asked teasingly as he grabbed it. He rolled his eyes.

"Yeah like _that_ was my priority." He scoffed and moved to set it on the table.

I let out a breathy laugh, too tired for any real sound to come out, and closed my eyes. "I love you," I murmured quietly.

And before I could even hear his response, I was asleep.

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**Author's Note:** Anything that needs to be explained that you missed throughout the years will be. Bella isn't completely healed as she hasn't quite let herself yet, but it's been awhile and she's adjusted so her heartache won't show as much. Any problems she still has will be discussed soon.

This lemon was purposely made to be much different than the last, to further prove the time change and the maturity of their relationship. As people grow together, so does their sex lives and it's not always candles and flowers.

So... thoughts so far? I guarantee there will be some unsuspected surprises, some of which I might be hated for, but keep in mind that even though I like to write realistically as much as possible, I also like a happily ever after.

That being said, welcome back!

- Janicee.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: **I don't own _The Twilight Saga_.

**Author's Note:** Sorry for the fake-out. I had to change some things to make the story work and be realistic and all that fun stuff. _SammieLynsMom_ hooked me up so I didn't look like a complete idiot here, so thanks!

Enjoy.

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**Chapter 2**

**Bella Swan**

The phone woke me up in the morning and I groaned, rolling over. The other side of the bed was unsurprisingly vacant, but his warmth was still there which meant that he had at least gotten a few hours of sleep after our late night activities before having to haul his ass into work.

I stretched, slowly reaching for the phone before answering with a tired, "Hello?"

"He's missing."

The lazy grin was wiped off my face, my eyes popping open in surprise. "What do you mean, 'he's missing'? How do you know?" I jumped out of bed and scurried over to my dresser to pick out some clothes, throwing them on without even bothering to see if they matched.

"Lynette called. They came this morning. There was a bombing and three soldiers are left unaccounted for. Jazzy's one of them." I heard Alice's soft cry and cursed when I stubbed my toe on the bed as I ran around my room.

"Shh, it'll be okay Alice. He'll be okay."

Jasper had always wanted to be in the military, from what I was told, but Alice didn't want him to go. So he spent four years in college, got his degree in business management and started a nine to five job in the corporate world. He lasted about a month and a half before realizing that, as much as he loved Alice, he just wasn't cut out for it and enlisted in the army shortly after.

Three months later and he was gone.

Alice cried into the phone and I soothed her as I gathered everything I'd need for the day and rushed out the door.

After telling her I was on my way, we hung up and I quickly dialed work.

"Seattle's Home for Children," Laura answered.

"Laura? It's Bella. I can't come in today, my friend got some really bad news and she needs me. Do you think Jen can cover?" I asked in a hurried rush as I pulled out of the parking lot.

She didn't miss a beat. "Don't worry Bella, it won't be a problem. Go take care of your friend."

I sighed in relief. "Thank you so much."

We hung up and I sped down the highway towards Alice and Jasper's duplex.

By the time I got there Rose was already on the couch holding a sobbing Alice in her arms. My heart broke at the sight.

"Hey, how are you feeling?" I asked as I sat down next to them. I soothed Alice's hair as she sat there, staring down at her immobile hands.

She just shook her head; her cheeks wet and swollen. "I want Jasper," she said in a broken whisper.

I nodded, holding back the sting in my eyes. "I know sweetie, I know."

Alice fell asleep an hour later, her small body exhausted and strained. Her soft snores filled the too quiet house and Rose and I just sat there.

"Does Emmett know?" I asked her quietly.

She nodded. "Yeah, he wanted to come over but someone had to work the garage and he didn't want me to be alone," she told me, shifting her wedding ring nervously on her finger as she watched Alice, her sister in all intents and purposes, grieving over her brother who was lost in war.

I sighed and looked up. A calendar caught my eye from my spot on the couch, brightly displaying the month of September. I frowned. "I hate that all these celebrations are coming up and Jasper's missing, it doesn't feel right," I whispered as I looked away and instead stared at the picture sitting on the side table next to me of all of us together, smiling big goofy grins.

Not only was my birthday coming up in a week, but Rose and Emmett's wedding anniversary was at the end of the month also, having moved it up last year in order for Jasper to be able to attend. Then there was Thanksgiving and Christmas and New Years...

And that thought nearly did me in; in only a few short months we would start a new year without him, without knowing where he was or if he was dead or alive.

Rose didn't say anything, just nodded sadly as she stared down at our sleeping friend.

--

"Did you hear?" I asked quietly into the phone as I climbed into my truck. It was now close to ten o'clock and I was beat. Rose and I made sure Alice ate and was in bed before I left, Rose opting to stay the night.

"_Yeah_," Edward's tired voice responded. "_When are you coming home? I can't sleep without you here and now with all this stuff about Jasper..._"

"I know. I'm on my way. I'm leaving Alice's now," I told him, starting up my truck and pulling out into the road.

I walked tiredly into the house, throwing my purse and keys down before walking down the hall towards our room. As soon as I walked in, I stripped out of my clothes and climbed into bed, snuggling as close as I could fit into Edward's arms.

"I feel like I need to cry," I admitted, my voice mumbled from his chest. Edward's hand stroked my hair lovingly.

I spent the day distracting myself by doing Alice's chores and cooking, not wanting to let myself think about the fact that Jasper might never come home.

"Then cry," he told me softly.

I closed my eyes and shook my head. "But if I cry, I'll never stop and right now... right now Alice needs me to be strong." _Just like she was when I needed her to be._

"She needs you to be there," he corrected, "even if you're crying with her."

I sighed and melted into him, a single tear falling down my cheek.

--

I walked into work the next morning with a huge headache, bloodshot eyes and a to-go mug in my hand.

"How's your friend?" Laura asked as I entered her office. She finished typing something on her computer before looking up at me. She frowned. "I take it not good." I shook my head.

"Her boyfriend – a friend of mine for years – is missing in combat," I explained, "we're all really worried." She nodded sympathetically.

"I'm sorry to hear," she offered. I shrugged weakly and took a seat.

"Anyone come in for Brooklyn?" I asked, like I did every day. Laura smiled sadly and shook her head.

"Afraid not." I scowled into my coffee as I took a large gulp.

I had lost a son, and I knew what that pain was like. But what these kids are going through was different, probably worse; they lost their parents, whether they died or were unable to care for them, and it wasn't fair for them to grow up like this; we gave them a home, but they needed a family.

"And how's Noah?" I asked, referring to the new boy. "Is he adjusting well?"

Laura's frowned deepened. "He's a little reclusive and hasn't been interacting with the other children much and when he does, it's negatively," she told me.

I frowned, remembering the little boy's emotionless face as I wondered just what caused his heartache.

--

I made my way into the dining room filled with kids laughing and playing. Even with everything bad happening, seeing them happy put a smile on my face.

"Miss Bella?" I looked down and the little girl tugging on my leg smiled up at me, her little brown curls bouncing gently.

"Hey Maddie." I scooped her up into my arms and rested her on my hip. "What's up kiddo?" She giggled and laid her head on my shoulder.

"Will you help me with my drawing?" she asked shyly. I smiled at her and nodded, letting her point the way to her spot.

I spent the afternoon playing with the kids. Most of the older ones were out with their friends from school making the best of their last few days of summer, so I really only had to worry about the younger ones today. We pulled out the big container of supplies and let the kids do crafts.

I walked around the loud room, smiling at the kids as they drew their pictures and created a happy mess of construction paper and sparkles, not really making anything but having fun doing it.

My smile, however, swiftly fell when I noticed the young boy sitting in the corner by himself. I walked over to him, taking a seat across from where he was drawing on a blank piece of paper.

He looked up and frowned at me, covering his paper with his hand.

"You like to draw?" I asked him kindly. He shrugged and looked back down at his work. "I do. Do you mind if I sit here and draw with you?" I asked him. He hesitated for a moment before shaking his head 'no'. I smiled at him and reached over to grab another blank piece of paper and a pencil from the pile. "My name's Bella," I told him as I scribbled.

"Noah," he said quietly. I smiled up at him and continued to sketch.

Fifteen minutes later I was done and I smiled at my work, laughing quietly. Noah looked up from his paper curiously and tried to glance at mine.

"What did you draw?" he asked when he couldn't sneak a peek.

I eyed him playfully. "I'll show you mind if you show me yours?" I bargained. He bit his lip, his eyebrows creased together as he glanced back down at his paper before finally nodding and sliding it over.

I offered him mine and he laughed out loud when he saw my sketch of another staff member, Peter, in cartoon form; his head was much larger than his body, his face contorted comically and his normal sized glasses were huge and round over his big, bugged eyes. I smiled at him and looked down at his.

I gasped.

"You like it?" he asked shyly. All I could do was nod.

An older woman stared back at me, her long wavy hair flowing messily around her oval face. I found myself staring into her eyes, they were almost sad, her lips pulling down into a frown. I traced the sketch with my finger tips in awe before staring back up at the boy.

"Who is she?" I asked in a whisper.

He smiled sadly, shrugging his shoulders as he answered, "My mother."

--

Instead of going home after work, I went straight to Alice's to see how she was doing. I figured she probably hadn't eaten much today, if yesterday was of any indication, so I planned to make her something if needed.

So imagine my surprise when I walk in, expecting her to be just as bad as yesterday, to find her bouncing around the kitchen making dinner.

"Uh, Alice?" Rose was asleep at the table, her head rested on her arms as she snored quietly. Alice stopped, looked at me and smiled.

"Bella!" She hopped over and gave me a hug. "Stay for supper?" she asked. "I'm making lots." I was still confused but nodded slowly, and she smiled happily before going back to what she was doing.

I slid next to Rose at the table and nudged her awake. Her head popped up and she stared around the room tiredly before seeing me. She rubbed her eyes.

"What's up with Alice?" I asked in a whisper.

"Huh?" She looked over to Alice as she let out a yawn. We watched as our friend stirred a pot before moving to cut up some veggies. Rose nodded. "Oh yeah, she's been like this all day; it's like she's in denial and refuses to acknowledge that yesterday happened."

I looked back at Alice knowing just how unhealthy that was.

A half an hour later Emmett was there and the tables were set. "Dinner's served," Alice sang. She placed the meal on the table; steamed veggies, mashed potatoes and ham and told us to dig in.

So we did.

We served ourselves quietly, the tension in the air thick as we ate our food. Alice sat down with a content smile as she looked around the table.

"This is delicious," Emmett complimented, breaking the silence. Alice beamed over at him.

"Thanks!"

And then it got quiet again.

"So, uh... how's the garage doing?" I asked Emmett and Rose awkwardly.

They had invested in their own business working on cars since they both enjoyed it. And Emmett, being Emmett, thought up the ridiculous name and Rose just couldn't say 'no'. So it was called '_The E. R. Automotive Repair_'. Emmett thought it was hilarious.

"Really well actually," Rose answered after she washed down her food with gulp of wine. "We just hired a new guy last week to do all the boring work like answering calls, which means we don't have to stop what we're doing every time the phone rings. That's a plus." I nodded and took a bite of my potatoes.

"What about you Ali? How's work?" I asked her. She smiled at me.

"I have a few new clients who are looking for their entire house to be redecorated," she offered. I grinned at her because I knew that was her favorite kind of client; the ones where she got to start from scratch and do everything.

"Sounds good."

We finished our meal and after making sure Alice would be alright, we all went our separate ways.

My phone rang when I pulled into the parking lot of my building and I shut off my truck.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Hi sweetie, it's me."

I smiled and got out of my truck before heading into the building. "Hey mom."

"How are you? I haven't heard from you in forever," she scolded me. I laughed quietly and shook my head.

"I've been busy but I'm alright. What about you? How's Phil?"

She scoffed into the phone. "He's fine honey, don't worry about him. But there's a reason I'm calling. We're coming to visit for your birthday!" she told me happily. I smiled as I unlocked the door to my apartment.

I could tell by the emptiness I felt that Edward wasn't home.

Sighing as I looked around, I thought about Alice and Jasper and shook my head. "Good because right now, I could really use my mom."

**

* * *

Author's Note:** Um... so, uh... _cough cough_. How about this weather, huh? Global warming... yeah.

I know, I know; how could I vote Jasper off the island? My bad. Just keep in mind that I like to write _happily ever afters_.

That's all I'm telling you.

Go review!

- Janicee.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: **I don't own _The Twilight Saga_.

* * *

**Chapter 3**

**Edward Cullen**

My pager woke me up and I climbed out of bed, careful not to wake Bella. As much as I loved what I did, this residency was a bitch when it came to sleep.

After a quick five minute shower and a bite to eat, I grabbed my things off the table and left for work.

"Morning Edward," an older nurse greeted me as I walked down the hall towards the locker room. I smiled politely at her and waved before continuing on my way.

I got changed quickly into my scrubs and went to meet up with my mentor, Dr. Roberts, for my assignment.

"Dr. Cullen," the old graying man acknowledged as he checked his patient's vitals. I watched as he wrote down his findings on his chart before smiling at her. "Everything looks good. Get some rest and tomorrow you'll be able to start with solid foods," he told the young girl.

She smiled at the prospect of eating something other than crushed ice and pudding and thanked him. Bidding her goodbye, Dr. Roberts collected his things and led me out into the hall.

When we got into his office he rounded his old mahogany desk and sifted through the papers on top. "Okay, we got a new patient. He's suffering from cancer in his lungs and it doesn't look good."

"As in..." I trialed off. He nodded sadly.

"Terminal. My guess is about four months. There isn't much we can do other than make him as comfortable as possible until it's his time. I'm assigning him to you."

"Alright," I agreed knowing I didn't have a choice. I tended to shy away from terminal patients, not wanting to get attached, which is probably why Dr. Roberts was assigning him to me; to see if I could handle it.

Dr. Roberts handed me his file and room number. The patient's name was Chuck Michaels and he was eighty-three years old without any close family.

The familiar scent of the hospital hit me as I walked back out into the hall; the many mixtures of cleaning products assaulting my nostrils.

When I walked into his room, the man was scowling up at his TV. I frowned and looked up to see the news.

"Don't like the current events?" I guessed as I neared him. He scoffed and shook his head, his balding gray hair sticking up in all places.

"This war is ridiculous," he told me, pointing up to where the anchor man was reporting the latest news in Iraq. "So many of our country's young men are dying and over what? _Oil_," he spat.

"My best friend's in that war," I told him sadly. "We just found out he's missing."

The old man frowned and flicked off the TV.

"So what's your name kid?" he asked, shifting awkwardly in his bed. I moved over quickly to help him but he swatted me away. "I'm old and I'm dying but I can sure as hell sit up on my own," he told me stubbornly. I raised my hands in defense and backed up a little.

Clearing my throat, I ran a hand through my hair as I coughed out, "Edward Cullen, I'm your new doctor."

He nodded. "Chuck Michaels, but I'm sure you already knew that." He held out his hand for me to shake.

After checking him over, I stayed and talked for a little while, getting to know him until my pager went off and I had to leave. I was honestly sad to go; usually old people were a chore to talk to, the years between us blocking any real common interests we may have, but the things he had to say were actually fascinating. His outlook on life wasn't all happy-go-lucky; he was a realist.

And he had a good sense of humor.

"Shit," I cursed, sticking my pager back into my pocket. "I got to go." He nodded and shifted awkwardly, giving me a look when I, once again, moved to help.

"Well thank you for keeping an old man company," he said and I laughed quietly.

"I'll see you tomorrow Chuck."

He grunted and flicked back on the TV.

--

The week went by without any news on Jasper. Alice was still in her weird state of denial and had been scurrying around in a frenzy planning a surprise party for Bella's birthday, which was in two days. And, from what Bella told me, Renée and Phil were flying in from Phoenix to attend... tonight. It was Friday and they were staying until Monday morning.

And I was the lucky guy who got to pick them up.

So, starting the car, I made my way towards the airport, constantly checking my phone for any messages from Renée, hopefully telling me if they landed and where they would be waiting for me.

When I got to the terminal, I parked my car, shutting the door behind me and locking it before racing into the busy building.

I looked around; the sign above costumer service didn't say anything about their flight. I frowned, fidgeting in my spot, not exactly sure where to go. Looking back down at my phone I sighed as I realized there were no calls.

I walked up to the desk in defeat, hoping that they could help me.

"Excuse me." I cleared my throat and the ditsy girl behind the desk, who had been talking on the phone for five minutes in front of me, had the nerve to hold up her index finger in my face.

"... and did you see who she brought? I know! He's _such_ a dork."

I looked behind me and noticed a line had started to form. I closed my eyes, counting to ten before I said something I would regret, because this girl was pissing me off. She didn't even glance up at me once.

After ten seconds of deep breaths I smiled and very calmly reached over and hung up the phone.

"Hello?" she asked, her barely-there eyebrows scrunching up in confusion. She looked at the phone in her hand, trailing the cord all the way to where my finger still pressed on the button. She glared at it before snapping her head up to me, her eyes going wide.

_Thank you, I know I'm hot, now do your fucking job. _

"Uh, um..." she squeaked and I rolled my eyes.

I flashed her a fake smile and very calmly asked, "Do you know if the flight from Phoenix landed yet?"

She shook herself out of her daze and quickly checked her computer before telling me that it has, in fact, landed. Five minutes ago.

_Great. _

I left about the same time she got her nerve to start flirting and made my way to where she had pointed earlier.

I scanned the crowd, hoping to find them soon so that I could get the fuck out of the airport and go home.

"Edward!" I heard over the noisy buzz around me and whipped my head around just in time to be wrapped up in Renée's arms. "I was just about to call you," she told me. I squeezed her back and smiled as she pulled apart and looked me over. "My daughter is one lucky girl," she murmured and I laughed as Phil shouted out a loud, "Hey!"

He rolled his eyes at his wife and took my hand in his. "Nice to see you again, Edward."

I nodded. "You too."

I helped them with their luggage and we all walked over to my parked car, Renée making the occasional comment about this and that on the way.

"So, Edward, tell me about this party," Renée asked as we pulled out onto the highway. I cleared my throat.

"Um, as far as I know it's going to be at Alice's. Bella just thinks we're all having dinner." I saw her nod from the corner of my eye.

"Smart girl, that Alice," she said. "A surprise party is the only way to go where Bella's concerned." I laughed in agreement and continued to drive.

We pulled into the parking lot around six and when I opened the door to the apartment I was assaulted by the delicious scent of what I assumed to be supper.

Walking into the kitchen, sure enough, Bella was in there running around trying to get everything done. "Need help?" I asked as I walked over and pulled her into my arms, kissing her hard on the lips. I laughed at the flour on her face and gently brushed it off with my thumb. She huffed and swatted me away.

"No, supper's pretty much done and the pie is in the oven." I grinned.

"Pie?" I moved to open the oven and inhaled the smell of apples and cinnamon. I drooled a little.

Rolling her eyes, Bella shoved me aside and closed the oven. "Yes, pie. Now go set the table," she instructed, pointing to the dishes already laid out on the counter. I mock saluted.

"Yes ma'am."

Soon we were all seated at the table, eating the feast Bella cooked that could probably feed at least three other people – or Emmett – and making small talk. Everything was going great. Until Renée spoke.

"So Bella, Phil and I were thinking," she started, pausing to take a drink. Bella raised her eyebrow at her mother and I turned to Phil who was shifting uncomfortably in his seat. "Christmas is coming up shortly and we were hoping that maybe you could come home for the week."

_Shit._

Bella coughed, her face going pale as she shook her head. "I can't. You know about Jasper. Alice needs her friends with her on the holidays," she quickly denied, like I knew she would.

Renée sighed. "Bella, you haven't been to Phoenix in years. I've only seen you a handful of times since you moved away," she complained.

"Mom, you know why I can't," Bella said, her voice pleading.

"So... what? You're just never going back again? What happens when I'm old and dying and need my daughter with me?" She raised a challenging eyebrow. Bella's lips formed a firm line, her eyes narrowing at her mother.

"That's not fair."

"No, what isn't fair is that I barely get to see my own daughter."

Bella's eyes watered as she stood, her chair screeching back against the hardwood floor. She opened her mouth to say something before closing it and shaking her head, turning and stalking away. The bedroom door slammed closed seconds later.

The room was quiet, uncomfortably so, and I cleared my throat awkwardly. "Um... I'm just gonna," I pointed to the hall where Bella had just stormed down, "go check on her. Finish eating and I'll be right back." I stood up and raced towards our room.

I knocked lightly on the wood and cracked the door open to see Bella sitting on the bed, her eyes filled with tears as she stared down at her journal. I sighed and walked further into the room.

"Bella," I murmured quietly, walking around the bed and sitting by her feet. I placed a hand on her knee.

"It's not fair," she said after a beat. "Why do people keep pushing me? I just don't want to go back there." She shook her head, her finger tracing designs on the brown leather book.

"I know," I said softly.

She had told me many times that there were just too many memories there, too much pain in that place for it to ever feel like home again.

"But," Her head snapped up at this, "you need to." She shook her head. "Remember what your therapist told you?" I asked instead of arguing further.

She looked back down at her journal and shrugged.

"She told you that you can't find closure until you deal with the past and Bella? Phoenix _is_ your past. As long as you keep avoiding it, you'll never be at ease." She sighed.

"Life's good though," she argued. "I'm happy." I nodded.

"Yes, but you'll be so much happier if you can move past this." She rubbed her forehead, her eyes closing tightly.

"Why does it have to be so hard?" she asked quietly.

I shrugged, not having an answer.

After a few minutes of silence Bella set her journal back in her bedside table and crawled into my lap. "We should probably go back out there, huh?"

I laughed quietly and nodded.

We got up, walking back into the dining room where Renée and Phil had just finished eating. Bella took a deep breath and forced a smile. "Okay, who wants pie?"

--

As usual, I woke up early Saturday morning to go to work. After my morning routines, I hurried into the kitchen to pour myself a coffee and rush out the door but when I got halfway there, I froze and backtracked.

"Renée?" I asked, confused by her being up so early. "What are you doing up at six?"

She was seated at the kitchen table, a mug held tightly in hand. "Just thinking," was her response.

I looked at my phone; I really didn't have much time to talk, but the look on her face told me that she needed someone so I sighed and took a seat across from her. "What's up?"

"You love my daughter... right?" she asked out of nowhere. I gaped at her, slowly nodding.

"Uh... yeah?"

"And would do anything for her?" Again I nodded. "Good. I need you to get her to go to Phoenix."

I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. "Believe me, I'm trying – have been trying. I don't know what else I can do." She frowned, staring down into her mug. "Why are you so insistent on her going anyways?" I asked softly.

Instead of answering she said, "I went to the doctor last month, you know. They thought I had breast cancer." My eyes widened, my mouth going dry.

"Uh..."

"I don't," she quickly assured me. "But it really got me thinking about life in general." She took another sip. "Did you know that I ran from Charlie out of fear?" she asked. I shook my head 'no'. "Well, I did. I was too comfortable; it was too easy and I kept thinking, 'something's going to happen to ruin this,' so instead of waiting for that something, I packed Bella up and left." She laughed bitterly. "I was completely miserable afterwards. I missed my easy life and the love Charlie had for me and Bella. I would stare at this picture of the three of us for hours and just cry. But I never went back. I couldn't face my past." She sighed quietly. "I know our situations are different, mine and Bella's, but I don't want her to regret never facing hers."

I heard a noise in the corner and saw Bella standing there with a shocked look on her face, her eyes moist and red. "I never knew that," she admitted. "The reason you left dad."

My pager beeped again and I cursed as I realized how late it was. "Sorry, I have to go." I stood up, kissing Bella goodbye. She moved to take my seat as I rushed out the door, thinking about what Renée had just said.

And I agreed.

I didn't want Bella to regret anything.

**

* * *

Author's Note:** For some reason, writing Edward's point of view is a lot harder than it used to be; maybe because this story feels like it's more Bella's now. So, for the sake of better chapters, I won't force it and just let it come when it comes. Agreed?

Review!

- Janicee.


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: **I don't own _The Twilight Saga_.

* * *

**Chapter 4**

**Bella Swan**

I stared at my mom across the table as I heard the door softly close. Her short hair, once a sandy blond, was dyed to a darker brown, not quite as dark as mine but similar. Her face still resembled youth, like how I had always known it to, nothing but a few laugh lines visible. She met my eyes with her normally child-like blue ones, full of regret and sorrow.

I didn't like this version of her. I wanted my happy, experimental, carefree mother back.

She sighed deeply, shrugging. "I don't know what to say."

"How about you start from the beginning and work your way down. I'd like to hear more about you and Dad." She thought for a second, both hands wrapped securely around her white coffee mug and after taking a slow sip she nodded.

"You know a lot of it. We never lied. I just didn't tell you the reasons for my leaving, only that I did. Your father was my high school sweetheart. We planned a life together, to travel, go to university and then later on in life we'd move back to Forks and start a family." Considering my age, I had a feeling I knew where this was going. "I got pregnant with you. I was scared and so was your father, but we figured that we could still have all those things we wanted, the family part would just start a little earlier." She sighed, tracing the designs on the table absently. "Our parents thought we were foolish, of course, and didn't help us out much. We were young and on top of being pregnant, your father proposed. He loved me and wanted us to have a real family which in his eyes meant marriage."

"So you guys got married," I concluded. She nodded.

"It was a quick, shot-gun wedding. We wanted to have it before my baby bump grew too noticeable. We went to Seattle for our honeymoon, came back and a few months later there you were." Taking another gulp of her coffee she sighed. "Having you was expensive; we didn't have the money to travel or to go to school like we planned. So I got a part-time job while Charlie entered in the police academy, our friends taking turns watching you when they could." I looked down at my hands as she continued. "Then life just got boring," she said with a shrug. "Nothing was exciting anymore. We grew up too fast."

"I'm sorry," I told her. Not because I was born, but because that happened. Her lip twitched up and she winked at me in true Renée fashion.

"You were certainly worth it, hon. But life with Charlie was just too domestic. I needed something more."

"So you left."

Nodding she said, "Yes, and I regretted it for a long, long time."

"Still?" I asked.

She smiled warmly at me and shook her head. "It's been years, Bella. I still think about what my life would be like, and yours, if I hadn't of left every now and then. But I'm happy. Phil makes me happy."

"Good."

She sighed as I thought over her words.

"I knew you were pregnant young, but I don't think I've ever really thought about it before. You were only a little bit older than I was with..." I trailed off, the name caught in my throat and I took a deep breath. I cursed myself. Had I really retreated back to where I couldn't even speak his name out loud?

My mother smiled sadly at me and nodded. "That's why I never judged you, baby. I knew things like that happened from firsthand experience, and I had every intention of helping you along the way; maybe if my parents helped a little more, you wouldn't have had to suffer through that."

I shook my head, already coming to terms with this at least. "I wouldn't change it, mom. I wouldn't take him back."

She hummed, the small, sad smile still tugging at her lips. "No, I didn't think so."

After our talk Renée helped me make breakfast. We laughed and joked around as I cooked and she cleaned whatever I dirtied.

It wasn't long before Phil came out, still wearing pajama bottoms and a t-shirt. He ran a hand through his messy hair and stretched, letting out a loud yawn before making his way over to us and kissing Renée on the cheek.

"Good morning ladies, breakfast looks good." He picked up a piece of toast and took a bite before grabbing his plate and taking a seat at the table. We followed..

"So what's the plan for today?" I asked them as I picked at my scrambled eggs, toast and bacon.

Gulping down his food with a mouthful of orange juice, Phil wiped his mouth and replied, "Renée wants to take me to the space needle. I've never been inside, despite how many times I've seen it."

I nodded. We only lived about fifteen minutes away. "Are you guys just going up or eating too? It's pretty pricey," I warned them. I've only gone up once, with the group, but the bill was nearly two hundred dollars without tips.

Renée nodded. "We'll leave around noon and walk around the Seattle Center for a bit beforehand."

After breakfast we talked for a bit longer until they decided it was time to get ready and go.

And then I was alone.

Sighing I flopped down onto the couch and switched on the TV, grabbing the PS3 controller.

Which is where Rose found me four hours later.

"You're such a dude," she said as she sat down next to me. I grunted and tossed her the other controller.

"Says the grease monkey."

"Touché."

"Why are you here anyways?" I asked as we waited for the game to load. She sighed and I looked over to see her frowning down at the black gadget in her hands.

"I'm used to Jasper not being here by now, with him being gone for so long. But every now and then I still get the urge to tell him something, a stupid joke I heard or about life in general. Usually I would just think, 'I'll just tell him when he gets back,' but now I'm not sure I'll ever get the chance."

I paused the game just as it started and slid closer to her, wrapping her up in my arms. With the way we were focused so hard on Ali, I forgot that Rose might need me too.

Not knowing what to say, I just sat there, swaying us gently until she shrugged, wiped away the few tears that managed to escape and nudged me.

"Come on, we've got a game to finish."

I smiled at her, knowing that she'd be okay for now but also keeping in mind that despite her strong front, she wasn't immune to pain. Nobody was.

--

A loud squeal woke me up the next day and I frowned as I felt the mattress bounce under me.

"B!"

I ignored her.

"Bella!"

Silence.

"Isabella Marie Swan!"

I groaned and peeked open an eye to see Alice lying next to me, a smile on her face.

"Oh good, you're up."

I laughed sarcastically and stretched, using my left foot to kick her off the bed.

She went down with a loud _thump_.

Glaring at me as she climbed back onto the bed, she crossed her arms. "You're only getting away with that because it's your birthday," she warned. I smiled and did it again only this time when she came up, I was met with a pillow to my face.

Laughing, I grabbed mine and hit her back twice as hard.

"Rosie, pinch me, I think I'm dreaming."

Alice and I both stopped and turned in time to see Rose smack Emmett on the back of his head.

"Ouch, Rose! I said _pinch me_, not hit me!" Not one to disappoint, she did that too.

I laughed loudly and he grinned at me from where he stood in my doorway before running and jumping into my bed in between me and Alice. He pulled me over into a tight one handed hug. "Happy birthday, B." He gave me a noogie and I pinched his side, to which he squealed and held up his other hand with a grin.

"Oh come on," I tried to reason as I slid away.

I found out about their little tradition the hard way my first birthday with Edward. The whole butter thing was not my cup a tea.

Emmett loved it.

He lunged at me and I fell off the bed, Rose and Alice jumping to his aide to hold me down – not that he'd really need it. They just wanted to be involved.

I glared as he prolonged the torture, his buttered finger slowly making its way towards my face.

And then he dragged the grease down my nose.

"Ew!" I cried. They laughed and let me up and I ran into my bathroom to clean my face.

I kicked everyone out of my room shortly after, jumping into the shower and getting ready for the day.

When I walked back into my room my phone was flashing. Walking overl, I picked it up and looked at the screen; two messages.

The first was from last night, after I fell asleep.

_Won't be home tonight. See you tomorrow. Love you. – E _

The next one came when I was in the shower.

_Happy birthday. Sorry I couldn't say it to your face. I'll see you tonight at Alice's for supper and cake. I love you. – E _

As much as I hated that he wasn't here now, I understood. I just wished he wouldn't be so tired when I saw him tonight, having worked so long without sleep. Hopefully he'd catch a nap before he left.

After sending him a quick text back, I finished getting dressed and walked out into my living room where Phil and my mom were sitting with my friends.

"Morning." I yawned and flopped down into a chair.

"Good morning," mom greeted with a smile and set a plate of semi-burnt pancakes in front of me. I scrunched up my nose, reaching for the syrup and drenched them before digging in.

"You guys didn't get home 'till late," I noted between bites. The TV was on in the background.

Renée smiled, her face flushing lightly and simply shrugged.

"These are delicious Mama D," Emmett cut in through a mouthful of pancakes and she smiled happily at him. That was probably the first time anyone ever complemented her cooking.

"Well I'm glad someone likes my cooking." She turned to me and stuck her tongue out and I rolled my eyes, laughing as I gulped down a glass of milk.

"Well, we're going to head out, B," Alice said as she stood up, everyone besides mom and Phil following her.

"You're not going to stay?" I frowned.

"We'll see you tonight, don't worry. We just thought you'd like to spend some time on your birthday with your mom. We only really came to wish you a happy birthday first and watch Emmett butter you." She laughed.

"Thanks for that," I said flatly.

They laughed, taking turns to hug me before turning to leave.

"Happy birthday, Bella. Wear something nice tonight for dinner," Rose called as she closed the door behind her.

Because it was my birthday, I wasn't allowed to clean. So instead of helping my mother wash the dishes I crashed on the couch next to Phil.

"Happy birthday," he said as he stared at the screen, an old Simpsons episode playing. I rolled my eyes.

"Next year I'm making a rule. You can only wish me a happy birthday if you can come up with a more original way to do it," I declared. He turned to me and shook his head in amusement before turning back to the TV.

The day went by quickly and pretty soon I was dressed in a pair of grey skinny jeans, a loose black top with my hair hanging straight down my back ready to meet my friends for dinner.

Or so I thought.

Phil and Renée in tow, I walked into Alice's dark apartment curiously.

"Where is everyo-"

"Surprise!"

I jumped back, startled, as the lights turned on and a room full of people shouted at me.

As my heart slowed down, I thought about all the things I could say...

'_I told you I didn't want a party.'_

'_You know I hate surprises.'_

'_Balloons? Really?'_

But as I looked at my friends smiling, and Edward grinning as he walked up to me, I just shook my head and laughed. "Thanks guys."

There were cheers, someone turned up the music and I thanked and hugged everyone on my path to Edward.

"Hey birthday girl." I grinned and leaned up to kiss him in thanks. "Your dad's here by the way," he told me when we pulled apart, pointing in his direction. My eyes widened and I followed his finger through the crowd to see Charlie talking to a very enthusiastic Alice by the punch.

"Dad!" I threw my arms around him when I got there and he smiled and hugged me back.

I missed the old man, not having seen him since Christmas.

He wished me a happy birthday, and Alice stated her approval of my outfit choice before I was shoved back into the crowd.

The party was in full swing in no time and it was awhile before I made it back to my mom and Phil. I pointed at her accusingly, albeit a tad tipsy, and narrowed my eyes.

"You knew." It wasn't a question. Renée threw her head back and laughed, nodding with absolutely no regret.

"Oh, if you could only see your face..." she trailed of wistfully.

"She can," I heard Emmett pipe in. I turned, almost confused, to see him standing next to me. He grinned and held up a small hand-held video camera and I groaned.

"I'm going to go get more punch," I excused myself. I stood next to the coffee table, covered with a red table cloth, and poured myself another drink as I watched the crowd. I noticed Rose was now standing next to Emmett talking to my parents and Phil, Edward was laughing with a few of his co-workers who I met from parties before he graduated but Alice was nowhere in sight.

I did a double take searching the crowd, she was normally the life of the party and almost impossible to miss but yet, she wasn't there. I frowned and made my way back over to Rosalie.

Tugging on her arm, I leaned forward and whispered, "Have you see Alice?" She scanned the crowd, looking just as confused as me and shook her head.

"Check the bathroom," she suggested after a minute. "She might just be touching up her make-up." I nodded and weaved through some people until I reached the bathroom. There was a small line-up and I waited a few minutes until it opened.

And Alice didn't come out.

The next person walked in and I continued down the hall to Alice's closed bedroom and, knocking lightly, I slowly pushed it open.

Alice jumped up off her bed, quickly wiping at her eyes.

But it was too late, I saw.

She had been crying and at further inspection, I could see the pictures and tissues scattered across the bed. "Oh, Alice." I sighed and shut the door before walking further into the room and pulling her into my arms.

"I'm sorry Bella, I'm okay really," she tried to tell me but I wasn't buying it for a minute.

"Alice, you know it's okay right? You know that I'm here for you and I'll be your shoulder, just like you were for me when I needed you to be." I pulled her back, my hands firmly on her shoulders as I looked into her moist, bloodshot eyes. She nodded and I hugged her again, just letting her cry. "Have you been doing this all along?" I asked her. "Just putting on a brave face?" The way she acted we were all so sure she was in denial.

She shrugged; her cheeks puffy and streaked with tears as she glanced back at another picture of Jasper.

Apparently we were wrong.

**

* * *

Author's Note: **So... Alice obviously wasn't as in denial as she appeared to be, and Rose isn't unaffected either. Everyone grieves differently, remember.

And on that note...

How would you wish Bella a happy birthday?

Leave one ;)

- Janicee.


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: **I don't own _The Twilight Saga_.

* * *

**Chapter 5**

**Edward Cullen**

I had gotten off work earlier than I admitted to Bella in order to surprise her at her party, which turned out to be a success. Rather than blow up at us like anticipated, she thanked us and moved about the room talking to friend after friend.

I hadn't seen her since we were talking to Charlie and as I was about to go in search for her, someone crossed my path.

"Edward, man, how's your residency going?" Daniel, a friend from UDub, asked before I could sneak by him. He was a nice enough guy and I hadn't seen him in a while but he wasn't, by any means, more important than my need to have Bella in my arms. I shrugged, taking a swig of my beer.

"It's tiring, and the pay is shit. So I guess as good as can be expected." I ran a hand through my hair and searched the crowd, scrunching my brows together as I saw Bella head down the hall. He nodded sympathetically in my side view.

"I hear you, buddy. But it'll be worth it in the end, eh?" I nodded, distracted.

"Uh, Dan? Sorry, but you'll have to excuse me," I said, looking over his shoulder after Bella before heading that way. I moved through the crowd of old friends, being stopped every now and then as I made my way by.

"Edward!" I grimaced and turned around at the sound of her high-pitched voice.

"Lauren."

"I didn't know you'd be here!" Her hair was shorter than I remembered; a short, blond bob with bangs. Her eye make-up was dark and exaggerated to match her skimpy outfit.

I lifted an eyebrow. "Really? You didn't know I'd be at my own _girlfriend's_ surprise party?"

She frowned. "Oh, I didn't know you two were still together. What has it been like... five, six years now?" she said with distaste.

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, glad you're happy for me. Who invited you anyways?"

She smirked. "My boyfriend. He's right over there." And then she pointed to Daniel.

I laughed and shook my head, turning around without so much as a goodbye and walked away. I'd warn him later.

I reached Alice's room, just about to knock when the door flew open.

"Oh! Edward!" Bella smiled up at me, but it didn't reach her eyes. I frowned and looked over her shoulder to see a blotchy-faced Alice, tear-stained and a complete mess. She didn't look up from where she was staring and I frowned as Bella closed the door behind her, cutting off my view.

"Is she okay?" I asked her.

Bella shrugged and looked up at me sadly. "Would you be?"

I didn't even need to respond because we both knew.

The answer was, 'no'.

--

The party died down around twelve – people needing to be home for work the next day – and Bella sighed as she held my hand in the car. Renée and Phil were driving Bella's truck and meeting us at the apartment.

"We're doing presents tomorrow, by the way," I told her incase Alice didn't mention it.

She was clearly tired because instead of a rebuttal all I got was a soft, "Okay."

I pulled into the lot shortly after and we climbed out and made our way into the apartment, leaving it unlocked behind us.

We climbed into bed, Bella snuggling into my arms and sighing as she rested her head on my chest. We were both tired and despite how much I wanted to, with her mother and Phil on their way back and the mood still somewhat down because of Jazz and Alice, sex just wasn't going to happen tonight.

"Thank you."

I smiled and leaned down to kiss her before whispering, "No problem, baby. It was all Alice." She squeezed me tighter and I frowned at the thought of my sad friend alone in her bedroom.

And another simply alone.

--

For the first time in awhile I woke up by myself; I didn't like it.

I glanced at the clock, which read ten o'clock, and came to the conclusion that Bella – who worked normal hours – had already left.

I laid down for another hour, just relaxing and enjoying being able to do so, before pulling myself out of bed, throwing on a t-shirt and walking out into the kitchen.

Renée and Phil were watching TV and both offered lazy greetings, not bothering to remove their attention from whatever show was on. I grunted back a response, poured myself a cup of coffee and joined them.

"Ellen Degeneres?" I asked as I watched the familiar woman on the screen. I turned; pointedly moving passed Renée to Phil and lifted up an inquisitive brow.

He shrugged non-apologetically. "She's funny."

I watched as she interviewed some up and coming actor from a new movie, showing funny pictures of when he was young and listening, commenting sometimes, as he told her about how he got the part. I wasn't paying much attention. Instead my mine was focused on less amusing things.

Jasper.

It seemed unreal that he wasn't here – it always did – but I don't think it ever really occurred to me how much danger he was really in until Emmett told me he was missing. I got off work that day to find a missed call and a message from my distraught brother telling me to call him as soon as possible and that it was about Jasper.

It was the first time in a while that I took the time to re-evaluate my life.

My attention was brought back to the TV when the crowd erupted into loud cheers as someone famous danced out onto the stage.

I focused on watching the rest of the show to avoid any more negative thoughts and actually found myself enjoying it... a little.

Not that I'd ever admit it to anyone.

She had genuine humour; it wasn't rude or insulting but all in good fun and it was decent to watch. Plus she liked chicks, which was always okay in my book.

After the show ended, Renée offered to make us lunch, which I politely declined. I knew she couldn't cook for shit and opted to make a sandwich instead.

As I plopped down onto my Lazy Boy with a glass of milk and a peanut butter sandwich, I asked, "What time is your guys' flight?"

Renée took a seat next to Phil with a too-watery bowl of microwavable KD. "Six-thirty. Bella wanted to be able to drop us off at the airport so we got a later flight." I nodded and took a large bite of my food.

--

Later in the day I took my car and drove the ten minute drive to Em's garage. It had an oil leak and it was really the only time I had to get it fixed.

"Just leave it in front of the garage and I'll pull it in," Rose hollered from behind the hood of a black Sunfire.

I turned off my car, leaving the keys in the ignition and climbed out.

"New guy?" I asked as I walked up next to her. A guy maybe nineteen sat at the desk up front talking on the phone as he jotted something down in the appointment book.

Rose hummed. "Yep, now it's all play and no work." I laughed and asked her where Emmett was. "He's in his 'office'," she told me, actually stopping what she was doing to apply air quotes.

Thanking her, I made my way to Emmett's office... so to speak.

He did work there when necessary, but really it was just for show. The only real thing he ever did on the computer on his desk was play games.

"Hey Em," I greeted, taking a seat on the green beanbag in the corner; it went well with the mini basketball hoop hanging on the door.

He grunted, not looking up from his computer. I tilted my head to see which game he was playing and rolled my eyes when I saw what it was.

"Grand Theft Auto? I thought you gave that up," I said in mock disappointment.

His eyes were wide as he stared at the screen in front of him. "I didn't have a choice; Rose took my laptop from me." I laughed at him.

"What did you do?" He shook his head, taking a minute to answer my question.

"Uh... not quite sure. Something about... shit! Something about not cleaning up after myself and acting like a two year old?" He shrugged, unaffected.

I nodded. "Sounds about right."

He was so into his game he didn't even respond.

--

"Hey baby." I smiled into the phone.

I heard Bella sigh from the other end. _"Hi."_

"How's The Home?" I asked as I pulled into the parking lot of our apartment complex.

I heard a squeal and then laughter before a breathless Bella answered, "It's great but I can't talk right now, the kids are chasing me with... _ouch_... cake."

I laughed at the image in my head. "Okay, when are you coming home?"

"Probably a little after five."

I let myself into the apartment. "Alright, see you then."

We hung up and I looked around the place; the hardwood floors were a natural wood, the light brown couch and matching lazy boy filling up the small space in our living room. I smiled at the large TV against the wall; it was the one thing I insisted we get.

Throwing my coat on the hook and setting down my keys, I walked down the hall and followed the sounds of voices in the spare room. The door was cracked open and I knocked before entering.

"Hey Edward," Phil greeted from his spot on the bed. He sat against the headboard as he flipped through a sports magazine. I waved and turned to Renée who was running around the room like a maniac throwing things into their suitcases.

"Shouldn't you be helping her?" I asked amused. Renée didn't even acknowledge me as she fluttered about.

He didn't look up. "Nah, crazy woman won't let me. I've learned to just go with it." He shrugged and flipped the page. I laughed.

"Alright then, I'll just be in the living room if you need anything." He nodded and I shut the door behind me when I left.

Bella came in the door around five like she said, her hair completely soaked and her shirt covered in cake. My lips pursed together as I looked her over. She glared and pointed at me.

"Don't," she warned.

But I couldn't help myself. "I see they caught you." I choked back a laugh.

She huffed and rolled her eyes. "There were like twenty of them chasing me. And if you wouldn't have called, I probably would have gotten away. But nope, you did. And being me, I got distracted and tripped." She scrunched up her nose and gestured her body. "This isn't even bad compared to what I looked like before I cleaned up in the sink." Shaking her head, she mumbled something about a shower and walked down the hall.

--

"I'm going to miss you so much baby." Renée was crying in Bella's arms and I stood there kind of awkwardly next to Phil.

When their flight was called, I gave him one last handshake and accepted another hug from Renée before pulling Bella into my arms as we watched them through the gates.

She sighed and hugged me tighter. "I'm going to miss them."

"You know... we could always go visit..." I hinted.

She frowned and shook her head.

"I know we've talked about this... a lot... but you need to do this-"

"And I will," she cut in. "When I'm ready."

Sighing, I nodded in defeat and led her out of the airport and towards the car.

--

"Open mine first," Alice demanded shoving a brightly wrapped purple package with a big bow on the top into Bella's arms. She smiled and tore at the paper.

She gasped at what she saw and held it up so we could see; it was a dark covered sketch book, with pencils, clearly expensive. "I love it." She pulled Alice into a hug.

"I know you like to draw and figured you'd need to replace your old one soon enough." She shrugged with a smile that didn't quite reach her eyes. I frowned and looked down.

"Okay, mine next." Rose handed her a gift bag.

She pulled the tissue paper off the top, looked inside and blushed before shoving it back in. "You would," she said to Rose who was poorly attempting to hold back her laughter. Bella went to move the bag away from us but Rose was quicker and snatched it back.

"Don't forget to show everybody." She grinned and started to pull the tissue paper back out. Sticking her hand into the small bag, she pulled out a white and pink rectangular box that red in big black letters: OhMiBod. I scratched the back of my head and looked over to my brother who was grinning like an idiot.

"What is it?" I finally asked.

Smiling, she turned to me. "This is the future of masturbation." I choked and looked over to Bella who was bright red. "It hooks up to your iPod and moves to the beat of whatever song you're listening to," she explained further.

I should have expected this sort of thing from Rose.

"Now she can get it on when you're working your late hours at the hospital." She put the box back into the bag and gave it to Bella.

I didn't mention the fact that I had bought her one not too long ago.

Emmett was next and handed Bella a card, grinning proudly when she saw what was inside. "We coordinated."

Bella actually laughed a little when she pulled out a gift card for iTunes.

And then it was my turn.

Smiling, I gave Bella the small rectangular box covered in black velvet and she bit her lip as she slowly opened it.

Inside was a silver necklace; it took me forever to find one that suited her. She pulled it out; slowly fingering the diamond heart shaped pendent hanging from the chain and turned to look at me. "It's beautiful," she whispered.

I shrugged and smiled as I explained the stones in the middle. "The sapphire in the middle is your birthstone and the two purplish-red stones on each side represent me and-"

"Aiden," she finished softly as a tear slipped down her cheek. I wiped it away with the pad of my thumb and nodded.

The alexandrite stones were really hard to find, and really expensive. They're rare due to the fact that they changed colors depending on the light but I didn't want to use the alternative; pearl. They looked much nicer with the dark blue of the sapphire.

Bella lifted her hair up and instructed me to put it on, which I did.

She fingered it lightly and I looked up to our friends who all sat quietly, touched by the sentiment. Both Rose and Alice had tears in their eyes as they stared down at their friend.

And then Emmett spoke, "Alright, who wants cake?"

**

* * *

Author's Note:** I don't have a picture of the necklace because it was really hard to find the perfect one, so I found one to sort of go off of. I don't know much about the alexandrite stone but what was said. I don't even know if it's possible for Edward to have gotten it. But let's just pretend that it is, and be all 'aw' about it. M'kay?

Thanks for reading. Let me know what you think.

- Janicee.


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: **I don't own _The Twilight Saga_.

* * *

**Chapter 6**

**Bella Swan**

The sun woke me up earlier than I wanted and I groaned, rolling over and lying face deep in my pillow. My head hurt, throbbing like I was hung over when in fact it was just caused by lack of sleep and emotional baggage, something that I've grown a little too familiar with for my liking.

I glanced over at Edward. He was facing me, shifting in his sleep so that his left arm and leg were thrown over me. He did that often and on several occasions I found myself either trapped beneath him or lying directly on top, being held tightly against him.

I sighed and ran my fingers through the mess of hair strewn out against his white pillow case. He smacked his lips together noisily, moistened them with a swipe of his tongue and hummed contently, pulling me closer.

I lay there for a while longer, pretending that I didn't have to get up, that it wasn't mom and Phil's last day in Seattle and that I'd get the entire day with them instead of going into to work.

But I did, it was and I wouldn't.

Frowning, I carefully pulled myself out of bed, being cautious not to wake Edward, and made my way to the shower to get ready for work.

--

I walked into Laura's office as usual, asking if anyone came in for Brook and, of course, the answer was the same.

She shook her head and sadly replied, "Sorry Bella."

I met Brook when I first interned. She was nearly two and was quite possibly the most adorable little girl I had ever seen with her big blue eyes and soft blond curls. She had gotten in a car accident when she was only eleven months old and though it only left a small scratch on her forehead, the scar in her heart was much worse; neither parent made it.

She didn't have any other family – or at least any family willing to take her in – so she was sent to The Home. She was a shy girl and cried a lot and for some reason, I was the only person who could calm her down. I don't know why or what was so special about me, but she'd found a way into my heart the very first time she smiled.

She's been my favorite ever since – not that I'd ever admit it to the other children. I was attached, and I knew it wasn't healthy in the long run but I was too far gone to care. It was my mission to find her a home. No matter how much I'd miss her, she needed parents and that was the one thing I couldn't do for her. But I could at least help find someone who would.

Sighing, I nodded in defeat and stood up.

"Oh! Bella?" I turned around to see Laura smiling back at me.

"Yeah?"

"Do you think you can handle the nursery this morning? We're short today so you'd be on your own, but you could call me in if you need any help."

I smiled at her and nodded before leaving towards the nursery.

We had six cribs altogether but, because most babies found homes almost immediately, right now we only had two filled. There was also a large playarea for the toddlers' ages three and down where Brook played with two younger kids, who were obviously more interested in the colourful blocks in front of them to really engage with the little girl.

I relieved Susan who worked the nightshift. She was sitting on a rocking chair letting the children play while she read. Putting her book in her large bag, she stood up and threw it over her shoulder.

"The babies kept each other up all night, so they'll probably sleep through the day," she told me with a warm smile.

I thanked her and watched her out before going straight to Brook.

Her eyes lit up when she saw me and she reached up from the other side of the small room dividers for me to pick her up, her tiny hands opening and closing.

"Hey Brooky," I cooed at the little girl. She giggled in my arms.

"Awe you gonna pway with me?" she asked, blinking her big blue eyes at me. Her shoulder length blond hair had a little pink ribbon in it to match her pink dress. I smiled and nodded, looking over to see the other little children, still too occupied with their toys to pay us any mind.

"What would you like to play?" I asked her. She hummed, her head tilting thoughtfully.

"What about Dowa?"

I pretended to think while she pouted at me. "Okay," I consented with a wink, setting her down. She ran over to the little computer-for-kids and sat down, turning to look at me expectantly while she tapped her foot. Laughing, I walked over and took a seat next to her.

We played _Dora_ for over an hour before Laura knocked on the door, poking her head in before stepping inside. "Hey Bella," she greeted me and then smiled down at Brook, who had resituated so that she was now on my lap. "Hi Brooklyn."

Brook smiled shyly and waved.

"I just came in to let you know that lunch will be in soon. So after you feed the kids, you can come take your brake. Jen will cover for you."

I glanced down at the clock – it was nearly noon – and nodded.

"Okay, I'll call for Jen when I'm ready." She nodded and, with a smile, bid us goodbye.

There was a little table in the nursery where the little kids could sit and have their food. The younger ones still preferred their bottles but, for the most part, they were fine when we started to switch to solid foods. It helped that they had each other to copy from, the little kids always wanting to do what the bigger ones did.

Peter came in not long after Laura did to bring me the kid's trays. He wheeled in a cart filled with three of them.

"Chicken nuggets and fries," he announced and the children giggled as he and I teamed up to get them clean before they ate.

When they were clean, we put their food down in front of them, along with sippy cups full of water mixed with a little juice and they quickly dug in.

Chicken nuggets were their favorite.

I thanked Peter and told him to send Jen in around one so that I could take my break and he agreed before slipping out the door and back to the dining hall.

I watched the kids eat, their food already pre-cut in bite sizes, and laughed at the mess they were making, not minding that I'd have to clean it up; I was used to it.

With the three little kids squealing and giggling happily, the babies started to stir, whimpering in their sleep.

I quickly got the older ones cleaned up, set their trays on the cart to be hauled out and placed them back in the playpen with all their toys, letting Brook go back to her game on the computer.

Then I walked over to the fridge and picked out two premade bottles and stuck them into the microwave. After testing to make sure they were the right temperature, I brought them over to the cribs.

Ayla, who was six months, accepted her bottle right away and gulped her milk happily with closed eyes. I smiled and moved over to the next crib to give the other baby, Joseph, who was four months, his bottle.

But Joseph was fussy and kept turning his head, his mouth closed tightly as he refused. I knew from experience that he liked to be held and had to be put to sleep in your arms before you put him down. So I lifted him up into my arms, grabbing the bottle off the side table and moved to the couch where I could still watch the kids play while he fed.

"Can I help?" Brook asked me while staring down at Joseph with wide eyes. Brook loved to help feed the babies.

Nodding, I patted the seat next to me and she giggled as she climbed on up.

I handed Brook the bottle while I held the baby. Knowing what to do, before she put the bottle in Joseph's mouth, she stuck out her little wrist and let a little bit of formula trickle out from the nipple of the bottle.

"Is it too hot?" I asked her with a smile. I knew it wasn't because I had already tested, but it was cute to watch her do it. She shook her head and giggled.

I got a Kleenex from the side table and wiped off her now wet wrist.

Brook leaned over me, her little head resting on my shoulder while she held Joseph's bottle for him. He sucked happily, staring up at her from my lap with wide eyes. His eyes were dark blue and I felt a familiar tinge of sadness as I held him wondering, once again, what color Aiden's eyes would have been.

When Joseph finished his bottle he was wide awake and I held him up in a sitting position to burp him. He cried a little while I patted and rubbed his back, hating being burped. When he finally let himself go, I smiled and turned him around, wiping the spit up from his mouth and stood him up like I knew he loved.

Brook and I watched and laughed as he stood wobbling on my lap with wide eyes knowing that he was holding himself up. He had a proud little grin on his face, cute little giggles escaping while his little hands gripped onto my arms for dear life. After awhile though, he started to get tired and I picked him back up, supporting his weight and set him down in one of the babies play chairs we had laying around, letting him play while I called for Jen.

When Jen came in, I walked out into the dining hall and heated up some soup for lunch before choosing a table to sit and eat. The dining hall was, as always, loud. The room was separated in a bunch of little groups where the kids were either eating or doing some kind of activity. I ate and looked around, my eyes narrowing in on Noah in the very same corner he sat before, alone.

I was going to have to ask Laura what his story was so that I would have a better idea of what to do, because it killed me to see him so sad.

When I was finished, I gathered all my trash onto my tray and was just about to stand up...

When the lights went out.

"What the-"

And then everyone started to sing _Happy Birthday_.

I turned bright red.

All the kids were screaming the short song at the top of their longs and despite my sore eardrums, I couldn't help but smile.

And by the time they finished with the line, _"Happy birthday to you, you live in a zoo. You look like a monkey, and you smell like one too!"_ All the kids had huddled around me with Laura, who was holding a huge cake in front of me with one candle right in the middle.

So that's why she sent me to the nursery...

I rolled my eyes and smiled up at her.

"Make a wish," she demanded and all the kids jumped in with their consents.

I closed my eyes and the room quieted down as I made my silent wish, _'Let Jasper be okay,'_ and then I blew out the candle.

--

The kids apparently thought eating the cake was overrated and instead thought it'd be a clever idea to cover me in it.

Long story short I was a mess.

After cleaning up what I could in the employee's bathroom, I finished the rest of my shift and made my way into Laura's office.

She looked up from her paperwork.

"Hey, can I talk to you?" I asked, poking my head through the door.

"Sure." She nodded and gestured to the seat across from her desk.

I walked in and closed the door behind me before I took a seat. "I was just wondering what you knew about Noah's past before he came here," I told her. She sighed, a frown forming as she reached up to remove her glasses.

"Well, he lived in an abusive environment, though we don't know how long; his father being the abuser," she told me. "He came home one day after school to find his mother unconscious and his father missing. He called 911 when she didn't wake up. Long story short, his father was found and is now awaiting trial for the attempted murder of his wife, among other things."

I narrowed my eyes at the thought. "I hope the bastard gets life."

She nodded her agreement. "Noah's mother is in the hospital in a coma and they don't know when or if she'll wake up. That, and because his father hasn't yet been trialed, is stopping Noah from being eligible for adoption. He was originally suppose to be in a foster home, but because the next available home is over an hour away, the judge agreed to let him stay here so that he could visit his mother regularly," she finished sadly.

He missed his mother, and he was angry at his father. Part of this story reminded me of Emmett's, though their situations were definitely different. And then I thought about what Edward had told me about Emmett being shy and afraid to interact with other people at first, and that even though it took time and effort, eventually he came out of his shell.

Maybe all Noah needed was a friend?

--

The day had been long; with work, saying goodbye to my mom and then opening presents, I was beat.

I finished putting all the dishes in the dishwasher and looked around the small kitchen with a sigh.

"What's the matter?" I felt Edward's arms wrap around my waist, hugging me from behind, and I smiled, leaning back into him.

"Just tired," I admitted, turning around. I leaned up and kissed him.

What was originally just a peck, though, got heated pretty quickly and his lips turned up into a grin as he held me to him, taking my bottom lip in between his teeth gently before pulling away with a snap.

"Tired, huh?" he said afterwards, his eyes hungry as he looked me over. His breath was heavy, as was mine, as he slowly dragged his eyes back up and I shivered under his gaze as I felt wetness pool between my legs; the lust over-riding the exhaustion.

I stood up on my tiptoes then, wrapping my arms around his neck and whispered against his lips, "Well... maybe not _that _tired."

He grinned wickedly, kissing me quickly before scooping me up and taking off into a run towards our bedroom, leaving nothing but my laughter behind.

**

* * *

Author's Note:** Does anyone know a good joke? I could use a laugh...

- Janicee.


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: **I don't own _The Twilight Saga_.

* * *

**Chapter 7**

**Edward Cullen**

Sex.

The word played in my mind like an annoying song with a catchy tune and I groaned as I placed Bella onto the bed.

It felt like forever since we'd had sex and I felt like and overeager teenager who blew their load when some girl flashed them her tits.

Not that _that_ ever happened to me...

Bella hummed, her eyebrow raised as she looked up at me. "You gonna join me, big guy?" she asked mischievously.

I narrowed my eyes. For some reason, unbeknownst to my raging hard-on, I felt playful. "Nah, I was thinking about catching the highlights of tonight's game before bed."

She bit her lip, shrugged and then, as if perfectly at ease with the situation, said, "That's fine, but could you do me a quick favor first?"

I played along. "Sure."

"Could you be a _doll_ and run into the living room and grab Rose's gift for me? I'd like to try it out." She smiled sweetly.

Some sort of noise escaped my throat at the thought of Bella getting herself off – something that never, _ever_ got old in my mind.

"I'll be right back." I practically ran into the living room, grabbed the bag full of presents and dumped them all out onto the floor in search of the pink and white rectangular box. As soon as I spotted it, I grinned stupidly, picked it up and rushed back into our room, sliding on the wood floor in my socks before coming to a halt at the foot of the bed.

I chucked the box onto the bed next to Bella and shoved my hands into my pockets, rocking on my heels as I watched her take out the toy and read over the instructions. She hummed a few times, nodding as she looked over everything and then reached over to plug it into her iPod, doing something with some extra thingamajig so that she didn't have to use headphones.

She looked up. "I thought you were going to watch the highlights?"

I nodded and bit my lip.

"TV's in the living room."

I nodded again and when I still didn't move, she simply raised an eyebrow at me and reached over to choose a song.

The beginning was a familiar but weird noise which sounded out of the speakers before the tempo picked up. I smirked as I listened to the instrumental intro.

_This is it_

_It's time for you to go to the wire_

_You will hit_

'_Cause you got the burnin' desire_

_It's your time_

_You got the horn so why don't you blow it_

_You are fine _

_You're filthy cute and baby you know it_

Bella was on her knees, swaying her body in tune with the beat and, despite her lack of co-ordination – because let's face it, even years can't change the fact the neither her, nor the rest of us, were gifted with the ability to dance it out like _Prince_ – she was putting on quite the impromptu show.

She winked at me, rolling her hips and biting her lip as she raised her shirt over her head and chucked it at me.

My dick was banging his head along with the music and I gulped, adjusting myself, trying not to drool.

_You're so good_

_Baby there ain't nobody better_

_So you should_

_Never, ever go by the letter_

_You're so cool_

_Everything you do is success_

_Make the rules_

_Then break them all 'cause you are the best_

Bella had successfully unclothed herself and I would have laughed at her attempt to catch the squirming dildo forgotten on the bed if she wasn't so damn sexy in her deep purple lace panty set.

When she caught the thing, she licked her lips and brought it between her legs, teasing herself with it and I didn't know whether to thank God for creating the man who made that shit up, or to curse him. I was so damn hard and why was Bella using a dildo when Junior was up and ready to go?

Then I heard her moan and all thoughts left my head, along with the rest of whatever blood was left up there.

I sighed. Like, really.

_Ugh. _

I watched in wonder as Bella moved her panties to the side and allowed that beautiful piece of machinery to slip inside her soaking wet and, no doubt, warm entrance and I nearly cried at the sight.

My eyes actually watered.

I moved to release myself from my jeans.

"No, no, no." Her words were more like moans but I heard them.

"What?" I asked confused and in pain.

"Keep them on."

I whimpered.

She smirked and let out a delicious moan as _Bobby_ there hit some spot my dick didn't have the pleasure of touching just yet and groaned out, "This is your payback."

I didn't know what she was talking about; all thought processes were no more as she picked up her pace.

I didn't even need to take my dick out, I decided then. I could probably get off without even touching it.

Bella was getting close. I could tell by the way her hips shook erratically as she grinded the toy in hand and how her mouth gapped open, eyes fallen shut.

She quickened her pace and a few flicks of her clit later, she collapsed.

The song changed then, moving onto something newer and not even remotely sexy but I was still on my Bella-just-climaxed-and-hot-_damn_-I'm-a-lucky-son-of-a-bitch-to-get-to-keep-her to move over and change it so that I could get my encore, and maybe a happy ending to go along with it.

After a few minutes of heavy breathing and barely audible whispers of, "Jesus fuck," I finally snapped out of my daze and begged, "Can he please, _please_ come out now?" and gestured to my dick.

Bella giggled and nodded and I nearly squealed as I tore off my pants, while Bella moved to change the song and unplug her toy.

I crawled onto the bed in my boxers, because I was all about equality, and hovered over her. "So, why was I being punished again?" I nipped at her neck.

"Well, you teased me with your toy. It's only fair I got to tease you with mine." She moaned as I grinded against her still sensitive center.

"I disagree." I moved her hair so that I could have better access. "What you did was definitely _not_ fair." Another thrust and moan.

Her mouth popped open and her hands travailed the contours of my back, her nails digging each time the pressure was too much. She moaned loudly. "Okay, we're even." She simultaneously pushed me off of her and rolled me over, straddling my legs.

Then, sweet baby Jesus, her beautiful hand reached into my boxers and wrapped itself around me and then she lowered her mouth.

I groaned and, with all my might, held back.

"Uh, Bella?" I tapped her shoulder. She hummed which did not help me _at all_. "If you don't want me to come, now would be the time to stop... because I'm about to."

She didn't listen though, just sucked harder.

And I lost control.

My head fell back, eyes rolling to the back of my head while my hand gripped itself into Bella's hair, unable to contain myself. She didn't care though, never did, and swallowed quickly. She pulled back when I had finished with a final jerk and wiped what she missed from the corner of her mouth. _So hot._

"You okay baby?" she asked, stroking my hair lovingly. I rolled my eyes and tugged her so that she rested in the nook under my arm.

"Psh. Not complaining."

She giggled and leaned forward to kiss me. I didn't even care that she had just swallowed my spunk; I greedily sucked and nipped at her lips, hands in hair, until Junior got the hint and came out of hiding.

Like he could ever resist her.

I rolled over on top of her, holding my weight with my forearms. "I love you." I kissed the black ink which decorated the skin above her beautiful heart and she smiled at me, soft and sweet, and pulled me back up to her lips.

--

Chuck smiled slyly at me when I walked into his room the next morning. "Why, don't you look chipper." He was a cheeky old bastard that was for sure. I shot him a playful glare and he shrugged. "What? You look like you're about to sing from the rooftops."

"Thinking about it. Any requests?"

He laughed. "Nah. Just bring an umbrella. It's raining." He pointed to the window. I rolled my eyes and set his tray on the table next to his bed.

"You're lucky I like you, old man, or I'd spend my breaks in the staff room and let Martha tend to you."

We both shuddered.

"That woman's got more hair on her upper lip than I do on the top of my head."

"Doesn't take much." I grinned.

We played cards and talked easy, until the nurse in question said it was time for his bath. He glared at me behind her back and I laughed quietly to myself, taking that as my cue to leave.

--

After my break I went back to work in the emergency. A girl, seventeen, noticed blood in her stools.

I pulled back the curtain and her eyes widened when she saw me. She adjusted the hospital gown she was dressed in and shifted on the bed.

"Jane?"

Nodding, she smiled up at me.

"Okay. I'm just going to ask you a few questions and then go over your test results." Again, a nod. "What shade was the blood you noticed?"

"Uh, bright red." She brought her thumb to her mouth and started to chew on her nail.

"And approximately how much?"

She shrugged. "It's hard to tell, but the water was all red."

I nodded and jotted that down before looking back up. "And just the once? Or have you noticed this before?"

"Just the once."

"Okay. Your blood and urine came back clean, which is good. What you described could mean several things but, by the sounds of it, it's just a simple fissure. I'm going to need you to lie down on your side and face the wall." She did as she was told as I got my supplies: a latex glove and a bottle of lube.

I was right. She left the room bright red.

--

"Hey baby." I peeked open an eye from my spot on the couch. "Tired?" Bella sat down on the small open space by my chest.

"A little." I adjusted myself so that she could cuddle with me.

"How was work?" she asked, her hand rubbing my stomach gently.

"Slow. What about you?"

She smiled up at me. "You know that little boy I told you about? Noah?" I nodded. "Well he made a friend today. A girl too. They were both sitting together when I got there today, laughing." She smiled wistfully and I soothed down her hair, happy for her and for the little boy going through so much.

"I'm glad," I whispered.

She hummed. "Yeah, he really needed someone his own age, you know?" I nodded. "Wanna watch TV," she changed the subject, "or are you still tired?"

"What time is it?" I asked.

"Um... six."

I grinned and grabbed the remote, flicking on _Ellen_.

Bella laughed, and I smiled, and everything was perfect.

--

Rose and Emmett's anniversary was coming up and they were both acting strange. Emmett, who usually asked me for advice on what to do this time a year, hadn't breathed a word on the subject, and Rose was smiling a lot more all of a sudden.

I didn't know what to say, so I just didn't. But I knew I wasn't the only one who noticed their odd behaviour.

"Did you see the way that Rose has been staring off into space and sighing lately? Since when does Rose _sigh_?"

I was helping Alice make dinner for our weekly get-together supper since it was my day off.

"Something's up," I agreed and chucked my chopped vegetables into the bowl of lettuce and mixed it all together. She was smart to put me at a station where I didn't really have to_ cook _anything.

She stirred the pasta and pouted, presumably because she wasn't in the loop.

And it didn't get much better as the days went by. Their anniversary passed and when asked how they celebrated, they both just shrugged with great big smiles and said that they went out for dinner.

We all knew there was something we weren't getting, but none of us could guess _what_.

It seemed we'd just have to wait and see.

--

"Okay guys," Alice said as she paced the length of her living room. "Halloween is coming up. Any ideas on how we're going to celebrate?"

Though she started showing more emotions when it came to Jasper, she was still trying to do things that helped keep her mind busy.

And we did our best to help.

"Club?" Rose suggested. Emmett nodded beside her in agreement.

I shrugged, not having and preferences.

Bella just said, "As long as we don't host the party, I'm fine with whatever."

Alice quickly agreed that we'd go to a club and she went off in search of the best choice, telling us – meaning me and Emmett – not to forget our costumes.

We had all decided before that, for Alice's sake, we wouldn't dress up in couples like we had for the past few years.

It just wasn't fair when part of hers was missing.

**

* * *

Author's Note:** Sorry it's a little late. I don't have much to say other than if you have the time, please visit the link below. A well known author and beta, Mskathy, is working hard to help raise money for Haiti. For five dollars, donated to any Haiti support, you'll get a package with over two hundred one-shots from different authors around the fandom.

For more information: _http://mskathyff(dot)blogspot(dot)com/_

Please think about it. And if you are considering, be quick! The deadline for sending in your proof of payment is January 24th!

Thanks!

- Janicee.


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: **I don't own _The Twilight Saga_.

**Author's Note:** I'll keep it simple. Sorry it's late. Depression came back, was in no condition to write anything even remotely worth reading. Still not gone, but I managed this.

Read away.

* * *

**Chapter 8**

**Bella Swan**

"I think the three of us should go as something together," Rose said as we walked into an old thrift store. Since we weren't doing coupled themes, I didn't see the problem.

"Like what?" I fingered through the clothes on a rack, some clearly not of our era and others seemingly brand new.

"I don't know. Like the Pink Ladies or something like that." She shrugged.

Alice smiled and held up a bright red, with black lace, corset. "I have an idea."

We all agreed on our costumes, and who would be who, fairly quickly. We would need to look around all over to build them each up, but I didn't think it'd be that hard.

With extra time to spare, we decided to play dress-up with some of the older, sillier clothes, laughing and snapping pictures for the boys.

"I'm exhausted." I sighed and flopped down onto a bench outside. It was getting chillier, the breeze cool and air moist, and I shivered, pulling my coat tighter around me. "And hungry."

"Me too," Alice agreed from beside me. Her little head rested on my shoulder.

"Ditto. I'm craving a burger." Rose rubbed her flat tummy to exaggerate her point.

So we drove to the nearest McDonalds.

"So, Rose..." Alice started. Her eyes twinkled with that mischief that had been missing lately as she popped a fry into her mouth.

Rose hummed, her hand covering her mouth to hide the food in there. She finished and took a sip of her pop

"When are you due?"

And then pop sprayed everywhere.

She coughed, patting her chest as she blinked repeatedly at Alice, her eyes watering. "Excuse me?"

"When are you due," Alice repeated. "The baby?"

And then Rose started laughing... hard. Alice stared at her like she was crazy while I just watched on.

After a full minute of hysterics, Rose took a deep breath and shook her head, wiping the underneath of her eyes. "I'm not pregnant."

Alice's jaw visibly dropped. "But- what... I thought- but you... Dammit!" she finally shouted and then crossed her arms, her bottom lip jutting out.

Rose rolled her eyes and took another bite of her Big Mac.

"Please, please, _please_ tell me?" That was all Alice said since we left McDonalds.

"For the last time Alice, there's nothing to tell." And I almost believed her. If it wasn't so damn obvious she and Emmett were hiding something.

"Bullshit," I called as we pulled into her driveway.

"Look," she said, taking a deep breath. "As much as I'd love to tell you guys this big, deep, dark secret, I just don't have one." She shrugged and climbed out of the car with a hollered, "Call me about the costumes!" before jogging in her house.

"She's lying," Alice grumbled, sliding over so that she wasn't practically sitting on my lap anymore.

I laughed. "I know."

--

"First Emmett and Rosalie, and now you?" Edward asked with a pout.

I smiled and rolled my eyes. "We just want it to be a surprise."

"But baby..."

"Save it. I'm not telling you."

"But you know what my costume is," he argued.

I snorted. "A barely there police uniform for _strippers_ is hardly a costume."

But he disagreed. "That's the point. I'm going as a _stripper_ in a police costume."

"Much better." I rolled my eyes and then clenched my teeth so that I wouldn't drool at the thought of him in said costume.

_Sexy._

He and Emmett were going as team strippers, which in itself was comical. Edward's costume consisted of a pair of navy blue dress pants and shoes, suspenders – no shirt – a skinny black tie, and an authentic Police hat my dad _thoughtfully_ loaned him... and cuffs.

_I will never again think about Police without thinking about Edward naked. _

Emmett was going as a firefighter; pants, hat, suspenders... the same deal. I tried not to think about _him _naked though.

Edward was still laughing.

"I can't wait until you're all old and wrinkly and girls finally stop drooling over you." I rolled my eyes. Just because he wasn't interested in any of them, didn't stop him from pulling stunts like this... just because.

He snorted. "Whatever. Like you're really excited to bang an eighty year old."

"Who said you're getting any when you're eighty?" I countered back.

"Because, dear Bella," he pulled me into his arms, "you'll never be able to resist me."

And as he pulled my face to his, I knew this to be true.

--

"So she's not pregnant. They're already married, so it's not like they're getting engaged again..." Alice huffed in frustration. "Why can't I figure this out? I've always been able to figure stuff out. What's wrong with me?" She pouted and then sighed. "I miss Jasper."

This had been a reoccurring theme. Everything would always lead back to Jasper being missing, not that I blamed her. I put down my book and pulled Alice over to me. "I know, sweetie."

She whimpered. "It's been weeks and we haven't heard anything. Why haven't we heard anything?"

I didn't have an answer for her. As much I wanted to rid her fears, my thoughts weren't exactly peachy. I wanted him safe, but how could he be? I just wished everything would be okay.

So, rather than offering false promises I couldn't be sure of, I simply held her and let her cry.

--

Laura was thrilled when I came into work the next week, saying she had some fabulous news. So there I sat, my leg bouncing as she grinned over to me.

"You'll never guess–"

My eyes widened. "Brook found a home?" I jumped out of my seat. She frowned, her eyes – previously full of joy – dimming ever so slightly.

She shook her head. "I'm sorry Bella."

I closed my eyes, cursing myself for being so quick to jump to conclusions and sat back down. "So...?"

"Noah's mom woke up yesterday," she started softly. "No long term damages. She can't remember what happened that day at all, but after being assured that he could no longer do her, or Noah, harm, she admitted that her husband had abused her for years, sometimes subtle, sometimes – like we've seen – not. She'll need to be watched for at least a week, but after that, she'll be fine to go. Her house has already been put on the market, all assets being appointed to her, and she's taking Noah so that they can have a fresh start after the trial." She finished with a smile and I couldn't help but smile too.

I was always happy, no matter how bittersweet, when someone left The Home.

--

Work seemed longer than usual. I couldn't be sure, but I could have sworn the clocks just stopped working.

Where I'd normally love playing with the kids, and helping with early studies, I found myself in a cloud like state, my mind often drifting off.

Several times I've had to be brought back to the present and force a smile, polite conversation and help the children with whatever they were working on while wondering what exactly I had been thinking about before, but always coming up blank.

The drive home after work was the same. Ten percent of my brain focused on the road, while the rest seemed to be lost.

It was strange and made no sense, but as I walked into the door I could tell that, as my body began to lag and rather than hang up my purse, I just dropped it by the door, I've felt this way before.

I was emotionally and physically exhausted.

--

I woke up at two AM, oddly refreshed. Edward was tucked into my side, his breath hot on my neck, and I smiled as I ran my hand through his hair with one hand and tapped my leg with the other.

I was bored; happy... but bored.

I looked around the dark room. The night shined through the window, pointing out that not only was I wide awake so early, but there really wasn't anything I could do.

I climbed out of bed, careful not to wake up Edward, and patted my way into the kitchen. It was a mess and, for the first time because of this, I smiled.

I had something to do.

Instead of just tidying up, I went through every shelf, every drawer, until the entire place was spotless.

It was four AM.

I hummed for a minute, looking around, before pulling stuff out of the freshly cleaned cupboards and fridge. I felt like baking.

Four dozen cupcakes later, Edward arose. He ran his hand through his messy hair as he tiredly walked – clad only in a pair of black silk boxers – into the kitchen. He sniffed the air with a lazy grin and scratched his stomach.

"It's smells so fucking good in here." He grabbed for a cupcake and kissed my cheek. "But why in the hell are you up at," he glanced at the clock, "_seven_ in the morning baking?"

I just shrugged. "I was bored."

He laughed, taking a bite of the warm, icing covered, treat and moaned as he licked the remains from his lips.

I shook my head as my thoughts ran off with that single action and cleared my throat. "So, um, work?" I asked, wetting a cloth and running it over the kitchen counter to clean the flowery mess there.

"Yep," he answered through a mouthful of cupcake and I rolled my eyes, grabbing it from his hand and set it down.

"There's breakfast in the fridge," I told him, lifting an eyebrow as I pointed to it.

He glared at the half eaten cupcake on the counter before moving to open the fridge.

In there was a bowl of freshly cut fruit in strawberry yogurt, with dry oatmeal sprinkled over the top.

He smiled and grabbed it while I moved to pack up the rest of the treats.

"As much as I love it when you get like this," he mumbled through a bite. "I like it better when I get to wake up with you in my arms."

I smiled and rolled my eyes at the cliché. "You're cute." I grabbed his cupcake, took a huge bite and smiled at him.

"Hey! That's mine." He put his food on the counter and went to grab for it. I took another bite and moved behind the counter. "Bella," he warned when I lifted the final bite to my mouth.

He jumped at me.

And the cupcake slid down my throat.

--

"I made cupcakes!" There were hoots and hollers, laughter and cheers as I carried the two large containers into the cafeteria. There was a large banner signed and coloured by all the children which read, "We'll miss you Noah!" over the entry way and balloons and streamers decorated each and every table.

We always had goodbye parties when a child left, no matter how long they were there for.

I brought the containers into the kitchen and Peter smiled at me from his spot on the stove. "You're going to get them all wired up and then leave for the night staff to deal with it." He tsked and shook his head.

I smiled brightly. "Yep."

The party had group games like Red Rover and Telephone, treats were scattered everywhere and the room was full of smiles.

I walked up to Noah, who held Jessie's – the small girl with dark hair – hand, with a never ending smile.

"Hey buddy." I ruffled his hair and he swatted at me, his cheeks going pink as he quickly glanced over to Jessie. I hid a smirk. "What game do you want to play? Your choice."

He thought about it, taking a second to look over to Jessie who simply shrugged.

"How about we play 'King'?" he offered.

"Yeah!" Jessie agreed, her head bobbing up and down excitedly. I scratched my head.

"What's King?"

It was one of those moments where everything stopped, the music screeched to a halt and the entire room gasped at once.

All the kids came rushing up to me with wide eyes and looks of disappointment on their faces.

"You don't know what 'King' is?" Jackson yelled, two of his teeth missing, leaving a comical – yet cute – gap in his mouth. I made my eyes wide and shook my head.

I was lying of course. I just wanted to hear them explain it to me.

I've spent hours on the internet looking for games to entertain these kids, and King had been one I stumbled across once – or more – before.

Then there was a loud, mumbled and unrecognizable explanation on how you played the game, each child trying to speak at once.

"Okay, okay," I stopped them, a playful smile on my lips. "So let me get this straight. One person is King and they have to hide," – collective nod – "And then... people find them and they win?" – collective gasp.

"No Bewa!" Madison shook her head from her spot by my feet. "If you find da king den you have to hide wit him!"

"Oh," I drawled out with a nod. "So I find the king and hide with him, then what?"

"Then it keeps going," Jessie offered, "until eventually everyone but one person is hiding with the king."

"And that last person wins a prize?" I guess.

There was a loud disagreement.

"No! Dey wose siwwy," Madison cutely replied in her little baby voice, her 'l' sounding more like a 'w' and her 't' sounding more like a 'd'.

"So who wins?" I smiled.

"The first person who finds the king," was pretty much what I got out of the jumbled response.

So the games began.

Because it was Noah's party, it was unanimous in the decision that he be king. So to be fair, we all had to face the back wall, Laura choosing to be the 'judge' to make sure nobody peeked, until we were given the green light and we started our search.

I mostly laid back. I was a competitive person – that I couldn't deny – but I was too caught up in the joy on the kids' faces as they all searched the building for Noah to really try.

One by one, the kids began to disappear. Laughter could be heard, but it was stifled and quickly shushed, leaving only a small echo behind with no real direction in which it came from.

And then there were two.

It was between Peter and I. And this is where I really started my hunt.

There was no way I'd lose to a _boy._

You'd think that a group of kids would be easy to find. But they were clever, and suddenly quiet, and I honestly had no idea where they were.

"Did they go outside?" I turned to Laura who shook her head. She was amused, that was clear.

I was just about ready to throw in my coat and yell out that it was no use, they were just too good.

Until I heard it.

Now, I'm strongly against cheating, it's not really my style. But Peter wasn't looking, Laura was grinning ear-to-ear hoping that I'd win and it was obviously what the children wanted. So, as the little bouncy ball slid under the door of the large, room-sized, closet (you'd think that'd be the first place we'd look...) I simply smiled, looked over my shoulder to a preoccupied Peter who was searching in the large, walk in fridge in the kitchen and bounded over, throwing the closet door open.

The site before me was comical in the least; the kids all huddled together with matching wide-eyes and grins. As soon as they saw me they all cheered and jumped up to hug and congratulate me... and then moved to tease Peter about being the last man standing.

He took it like a champ, so I didn't feel bad.

We had treats, played a few more games and then it was lights out – one hour later than usual. The younger kids got a story, the older kids had their music, and the babies had their bottles.

And I couldn't stop smiling all the way home.

**

* * *

Author's Note: **So, my inbox has been ridiculous lately. Over three-hundred unread chapters. It's been overwhelming to even look at it, but that's second to this anyways. I just want to thank anyone and everyone who's still with me. I'm not giving up, promise.

And finally, sorry if there are any mistakes. You'd think that with a whole month to edit, it'd be perfect. Truth is, I just wanted this chapter out. So please excuse them.

- Janicee.


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: **I don't own _The Twilight Saga_.

* * *

**Chapter 9**

**Bella Swan**

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Like, one hundred percent positive?"

"Yes."

"Pinkie promise?"

I rolled my eyes and stuck out my pinkie. "There. Do you believe me now?"

She let out a long sigh. "I suppose."

We were shopping – once again – for the final touches of our costumes... or Alice's. Mine was completely bought and hung in Alice's closet far, far away from the boys' hands. But Alice still needed one more thing.

"Alice, you look hot. Now go change so we can eat!" Rose huffed. She was even more fed up than I was now, but was singing a completely different tune this morning when she and Alice rushed me out the door in the early hours.

"You sure you're not pregnant?" I asked, amused at her in general.

"Yes."

"Like, one hundred percent positive?" I grinned at her.

"Yes."

"Pinkie promi –" Her eyes narrowing was all I needed to stop.

--

Today was the day. I was getting ready in Alice's bedroom with Rose, half dressed and hair a mess while I threw on some make-up.

"The guys aren't going to know what hit them tonight," Rose said as she adjusted her dark red and black corset in the mirror. I saw Alice frown from the corner of my eye but left her alone as she tucked her hair into a cap and threw on her blonde and pink wig, which hung long and curly around her face.

"Where are we meeting the guys again?" I asked, dragging the brush through my tangles before Alice finally stood up and helped me.

"The doors of the bar," she said as she worked on curling my hair before tugging it back into a tight side ponytail.

We were completely dressed – or undressed, whatever – and standing in line when we spotted them.

I gasped. I had seen their costumes on the little picture on the bag, but had yet to see them on. "They look ridiculous."

Now when I say ridiculous, it's not to be confused with hideous. Because _that_ they were _not_.

Edward looked smokin' hot from where he stood... shivering. His arms were wrapped around his torso protectively as he tried to gather warmth. I snorted.

Emmett, however, didn't seem fazed by the cold and when he found us through the crowd, his face lit up and he waved.

"Damn," he said as he held Rose back to investigate her. "I don't know what you ladies are, but I like it."

We were all dressed in kinky lingerie with various accessories. We weren't obvious, but if you knew what we were, you'd get it.

"Agreed." Edward nodded and turned me around to – presumably – see the other side. He smacked my ass and turned me back to face him. I glared at him and rubbed the tender skin which stung in the cool air.

"So..." Alice started. "Aren't either of you going to ask who we are?"

She just wanted credit, it being her idea and all. I didn't mind.

"Victoria Secret models?" Emmett guessed.

"Porn stars?" Edward piped in.

She gasped. "No! We are Christina, Mýa and Pink in _Lady Marmalade_."

"Where's Lil' Kim?" Emmett made a show of looking over her shoulder as if she was on her way.

She rolled her eyes. "Jail. Now let's go in!"

The bar was crowded with masses of sweaty characters, all smiles and drunk and horny. My ass was grabbed more than once, and each time I had to make sure Edward was looking somewhere else when I turned to glare at whoever had done it. It wasn't a big deal, but each time I made a show of clinging onto Edward so that guys got the hint.

It didn't seem to be working.

Edward may have been oblivious the attraction I was getting, but I definitely wasn't oblivious to the eyes wandering up and down his sweaty, ripped chest. I couldn't say that I necessarily liked it, or that it didn't bother me, but I knew he was mine.

And I didn't have a problem proving that to everyone in the club.

Since Alice didn't have a partner, we made a point to dance together – Alice, Rose and I. We grinded and laughed and swung our heads around with the beat of the music, not caring how foolish we looked in the process. Dancing badly together made it less embarrassing.

After a few songs, I was already feeling the pressure of the heels and I voted we go find a table and booze up before the next round. It was unanimous.

I held Edward's hand in one and Alice's – who was linked to Rose who was linked to Emmett – in the other as we weaved through the crowd as a human chain.

We found a table near the back.

"I'm going to go grab some drinks," Emmett called out over the music. "Preferences?"

"Just get a pitcher or something," Edward suggested and my nose twitched up in disgust.

"I don't want beer."

"Me neither," Alice shook her head and stood up. "I'll come with you. You won't be able to carry everything anyways."

"I'll take the beer," Rose said when Alice asked what we wanted.

"Just grab me something tasty," I told her and with a nod, she and Emmett left for the bar.

"So... I vote we get Alice wasted," Rose said, staring off after our friends.

I smiled and rolled my eyes. "I vote we all get wasted."

"Who's driving?" Edward asked. He lifted an eyebrow and I shrugged.

"We'll cab home."

With that agreed upon, we watched the crowd as we waited for our drinks.

"I'm so happy Bella! I haven't had this much fun since Jazzy left! _Why did Jazzy leave_?" Alice frowned and looked up at me with big sad eyes.

"I don't know. But let's not think about that. This is fun. Isn't this fun?" I wasn't really that drunk, since I was only nursing the fruity drinks, but Alice was pretty gone.

She smiled big and nodded quickly. "So fun! I'm so glad we did this! I'm so glad I have you! Rose! I'm so happy!" She laughed and jumped at Rose, who had just walked up, throwing her arms around her. Rose smiled down at our friend and hugged her back.

"Me too, Ally."

I felt someone grab my ass and I whipped around with narrowed eyes ready to punch the fucker since I was so tired of being touched.... and came face to face with Edward.

"Don't you know you're not supposed to grab at girls who have boyfriends?" I asked playfully.

He shrugged. "I can take him."

I busted out laughing and nodded. "Probably, he's not very strong."

And cue the glare. "Is that so?" he challenged.

"Yep. And he watches Ellen too; not very masculine." I shook my head, though I was only kidding. I loved that he watched Ellen with me and he knew that.

"I disagree," he said. "It takes a man who's very secure in his masculinity to watch Ellen."

"Or who's gay."

He rolled his eyes, dropping the game. "Baby, if I were gay. I wouldn't be thinking the things that I'm thinking right... _now_." He looked me up and down and I squirmed a little as the liquid began to pool between my thighs.

"And what are you thinking?" I leaned closer, my breath coming out in short gasps.

His eyes were hungry and he licked his lips before pulling me rough against him. I moaned at the feel of him beneath the thin layer of fabric; long and hard and clearly wanting.

"I'm thinking that you in this piece is so fucking hot. And how badly I want to take it off – slowly – with my teeth and lick every inch of your body." My eyes fell closed and I hummed. "And then, how I want to fuck you so hard against every surface in our house that you can't walk for a week."

I was nodding along... until my head cleared. "Dammit," I cursed and stomped my foot like a petulant child.

"What?"

"We can't. Alice, Rose and I are doing the girl thing tonight so Alice isn't left alone," I whined and Edward pouted for a second before holding up his hand.

"One sec. I have an idea," and then he left me standing there alone.

Alone?

I looked up at our table to see Alice and Rose had gone back up and were both taking shots.

"Come on." My hand was tugged and I looked over to see Edward pulling me towards a door before he threw it open and me against the wall. "Fuck, I need you." He lifted me up and I quickly wrapped my legs around him, grinding down on him as much as I could.

"Then take me," I moaned as I felt his tongue run across the skin of my neck.

He nodded and reached down between my legs. "Fuck, Bella, you're wearing a garter belt?"

I laughed and nodded. "Yes... oh, fuck..." his fingers felt their way towards my panties and easily slipped inside me.

"Jesus, Bella, you're so wet."

"Uh huh..."

He pulled back and I felt him tug at his pants before he released himself and pushed my panties back aside.

I moaned loudly as he slid into me.

"So good..." he ground out, thrusting hard.

I just nodded and thrusted back.

It wasn't gentle. It was raw and needy as the two of us bit back moans and thrusted rough and quickly trying to make it last and make it fast simultaneously.

And it was exciting. Trying not to get caught and muffling each other's noises with kisses and bites, shushing each other while we grabbed and scratched and laughed and held on for dear life.

And it was amazing. Because it was us, and it always was.

And when we both came and settled down, we looked around us at the concrete hallway where we stood – where we could hear the muffled noises from the club in the deserted area – breathing heavily.

"Still think I'm gay?"

I laughed out loud and shook my head, resting it in the crook of his neck as I gasped for air. "Definitely not."

--

Somewhere throughout the night Alice ditched the wig, which was now in my hands. She had conked out as soon as she got into the cab and, as I kissed Edward goodbye before sliding in, I couldn't help but entertain the idea of just putting her to bed and going home with Edward. But even I knew that I couldn't do that.

So Rose and I brought her into the house and changed her clothes – because these outfits sure as hell weren't comfy – and put her into her large bed where she gargled and made funny noises before settling down.

And then we changed and climbed in right with her.

The room was dark, filled with heavy, even breaths and I smiled into my pillow, snuggling deeper into the blankets.

"Bella?" I heard. I rolled over to Alice, whose eyes were still closed and hummed in response. "You smell like sex."

And then that dark room was filled with three different sets of laughter.

**

* * *

Author's Note:** This is short but I figured it was better than nothing. We'll be jumping ahead next chapter, so be prepared. I think I have a little of my mojo back, but don't be surprised if the wait is still a bit longer than I usually make it.

Thoughts?

- Janicee.


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: **I don't own _The Twilight Saga_.

* * *

**Chapter 10**

**Edward Cullen**

"Edward, the Cougar's back!" There was loud laughter as I groaned and stood up from my seat in the doctor's lounge.

"Where?"

"Bed 115."

Sighing, I nodded. "Thanks."

I walked out of the staff room, past my fellow interns, and down the hall. This was starting to get ridiculous.

I opened the curtain that separated it from the other emergency beds and did my best to look friendly and directly at her son.

I didn't want The Cougar to think she had a chance... ever.

"Hey Josh," I smiled at the young boy, who looked back up at me with a bloody smile. I scrunched up my nose. "What happened kid?"

"The ball hit me in the face at t-ball. It was awesome." His grin grew larger and I could see the fresh gap where his tooth used to be.

This wasn't a case for the emergency room. This was a case for the dentist – not even. He was young enough that it was only a baby tooth he lost. He'd just need to ice his mouth to keep the swelling down and he'd be fine.

I took a deep breath and told them – in politer terms – that icing it was all that was necessary. After that, Mrs. Anderson sent her son back to the waiting room so that she could speak with me... alone.

I held back a shudder.

"Thank you so much. I don't know what I would have done without your help," she gushed, pushing her fake tits out at me.

I closed my eyes and groaned. Enough was enough... really.

"Mrs. Anderson –"

"Oh please, _Doctor_, call me Heidi."

I shook my head. "_Mrs. Anderson_," I stressed before continuing, "I know that you worry about your son and I don't have a problem with that, really, but I think you should stop requesting me. There are other doctors here equally, or more, qualified to tend to your son's needs, as well as your own."

She pouted and got all up into my personal bubble, adjusting my coat and running a bright red fingernail down my chest. "You don't want to tend to me?"

I backed away. "Mrs. Anderson, with all due respect, no... I don't."

She looked shocked, which – to be honest – I found to be somewhat hilarious. I was nothing but professional. I gave her no reason to believe I was even remotely interested, ever. So, how had she come to the conclusion – judging by the expression on her face – that I was? I may have been subtle in my rejections but it wasn't like I could just come out and say, _"Fuck off,"_ like I had wanted to.

After what felt like a full minute, she spoke, "Okay." She nodded and held her chin a little higher, which began to quiver. I cursed under my breath.

"Look, it's nothing personal-"

She cut me off with a shake of her head. "No, I understand. Why would an attractive doctor like _you_ ever want to be with an old mom like me?" She sniffled.

I wanted to – but didn't – tell her that her appeal was more dampened by her marriage than her son. But I didn't want to give her false hope, because... really... fuck that.

Instead I just explained. "I have a girlfriend. One I'm in love with and plan to marry and possibly have kids with one day. That's why I'm not interested in you. Not your age, or your son." I did my best to keep any irritation out of my voice. She wasn't catty like the other girls I dealt with in my past, she was older – more mature – and knew when to take a step back.

She sniffled some more and nodded, running her fingers under her eyes to catch the damp make-up. "She's lucky," she said finally as she walked towards the door. "I wish my husband cared half as much about me as you clearly do for her." And with that she left... hopefully to find her son.

--

"Are you packed?" Bella asked just as I dropped my last pair of socks into my suitcase.

"Yep."

She squealed and threw her arms around me. "I'm so excited!"

I rolled my eyes. "Bell, it's Forks. Really." I laughed.

She leaned back and slapped my chest playfully. "Not for Forks, dummy. For Christmas!"

I laughed and picked her up and spun her around before dropping her on the bed.

"It's a week away," I told her.

She shook her head. "Christmas starts the day of vacation... which is today."

"Is that so?" I hummed. She nodded like a little kid and I grinned at her. "Well then, merry Christmas." I leaned down to kiss her nose. "Where's my present?"

She let out a loud laugh and shook her head. "Uh... _no_. You get _that_ on the twenty-fifth, just like everyone else."

I pouted. "Please? Please, please, _please_?" She swatted me away as I tried to nip at her ear.

"Nope."

I laughed and let her up and we carried our bags out to my car after making sure everything in the apartment was in order.

"I called Alice a little while ago, she's ready whenever," Bella told me as she hopped into the car.

"Well that's good, considering we're on our way now."

She rolled her eyes.

We pulled into Alice's parking lot and got out just as she opened her door, most likely watching from the window. She had two bags so I rushed over to help her while Bella ran to Alice.

"I'm so excited!"

Alice laughed at her enthusiasm and jumped along with her, probably just to placate her.

We got her things into the car and got on the road shortly after.

"So does anyone know the _real_ reason why Rose and Emmett can't come 'til the twenty-fourth?" Alice asked from the back seat.

I shook my head.

Rose and Em had fed us some bullshit line about needing to keep the shop open, just incase someone's car broke down on their way to see their families during the break. So that they'd have somewhere to take it.

It would have made sense... if it were anyone _but_ Emmett and Rosalie. They closed their shop for any and all occasions... just because.

"I wonder if it has anything to do with that secret they were keeping back during their anniversary." Bella voiced. "We never did find out."

I shrugged. "Maybe. With them, who knows?"

The drive was generally quiet – Alice had her music, I had mine, and Bella wrote in her journal – and the weather held up.

I dropped Alice off at home first. We would all be celebrating together eventually, but for now we needed to get settled.

Bella and I were staying at my parents, because Charlie still frightens me to be honest.

But first we were having dinner.

Bella threw the door open and walked in like she still lived there and I followed behind her like a lost puppy as she threw her arms around her dad.

"Hey kiddo, how was the drive?" he asked her when they pulled apart.

Bella shrugged. "Long and boring." He laughed and nodded and moved to shake my hand.

"Hey Edward."

I nodded. "Chief."

His moustache twitched in amusement. I shuffled nervously.

"Charlie?"

The room grew quiet as the female's voice called out. Bella looked from the kitchen – where it came from – to Charlie and back.

"I wasn't aware you had other company," Bella said slowly, a smile creeping onto her face.

"Uh... well..." Charlie shifted in his spot.

Bella's eyes got big and curious as she peered into the kitchen.

"Who is she?" she whispered excitedly.

Just then a woman came out from the kitchen. She looked native and was a bigger woman – not fat but curvy – and Bella's smile grew even larger.

"Oh! They're here!" the woman wiped her hands on her apron and quickly stepped to Charlie's side. "You must be Bella. I'm Sue. You know my children, Leah and Seth. They're at their father's tonight though." She seemed nervous but Bella just smiled and shook Sue's pro-offered hand.

"It's very nice to meet you Sue."

Sue let out a large gust of air and nodded, tucking her short brown hair behind her ears. "I'm just going to finish up with dinner, if you and your father would like to catch up." And with that, she kissed Charlie – who was bright red – on the cheek and hurried back into the kitchen.

"Is she your girlfriend?" Bella hopped up and down in her spot and squealed when Charlie nodded.

"She and her husband divorced a few years back. We had that in common and just started talking. She lives down at the res, next to Billy," he quickly explained.

"I'm so happy for you, dad!" She threw her arms around him again and he rolled his eyes and smiled, still looking a bit embarrassed.

"Thanks, Bells."

With that out of the way, we moved into the living room where Bella left me and the chief alone, so that she could go help Sue.

Charlie wiped his brow. "She took that a lot better than I thought she would."

I nodded. "She's been hoping you'd find someone for awhile now," I told him.

He looked shocked. "Really?"

I shrugged. "She wants you to be happy."

He smiled at that. "You know Edward... you've grown up to be a decent man."

I laughed somewhat nervously. "Thanks."

Supper was served shortly after and Charlie and I were called to the table where the ladies were serving the dishes.

"Need any help?" I offered before taking my seat. Bella shook me off and pointed to my chair.

"No, sit down. We're fine."

Dinner went by smoothly. We ate our meals in comfortable conversation which Bella quickly hijacked.

"_How long have you been together?" _

"_How serious is it?"_

"_Do Leah and Seth know?" _

"_When can I see them again?" _

After we finished, I helped Bella do the dishes, despite Sue's protests.

"Edward," Bella whispered when Sue left the kitchen to go into the living room.

"Hmm?"

"She's hot."

I laughed out loud. "Yeah, I'm surprised. Turns out the chief has some game after all."

Bella laughed and flung water at me from the sink and I retaliated by whipping her with the towel.

"You kids okay in there?" Charlie shouted.

We quickly shushed each other with big goofy smiles before answering, "Yes!"

When he grunted in acknowledgement and Bella, smile intact, turned back to the dishes, I whipped her with the towel once more.

--

"_You have it?"_ Emmett asked me. I held the phone between my shoulder and my ear and patted my pocket.

"Yep."

"_And you're sure?" _

I exhaled loudly and smiled. "Absolutely."

"_Well, alright then. Good luck." _

I thanked him, telling him to drive safe before hanging up the phone.

It was Christmas Eve.

The week was spent with forced shopping trips, family dinners, get-togethers and uncomfortable conversations.

Alice, Bella and I visited a few of our old friends who were also home for the holidays – namely Angela, Ben and Eric – and whatever time remained was spent doing random activities ranging from the movies, to video games, to skating at the public rink.

It was fun and I was glad I got Christmas off and was able to spend it with my family.

"Hurry up!" I called up the stairs to Bella who was getting ready for my surprise. I had told her only to dress warm and to wear comfortable shoes.

"I'm coming!" she hollered back down with a huff and a minute later she was down the stairs and in my arms.

"You look goofy." I smiled.

She adjusted her silly looking hat and shrugged. "I'm warm."

Nodding, I kissed her cheek and grabbed her hand. "Perfect."

We both climbed into the car and then were off. It didn't take long, though, for her to know where we were going and she gave me a sweet smile in appreciation as I pulled onto the hidden trail.

"There isn't a bus back here is there?"

I snorted. "Not this time."

We parked when we reached the end and climbed out. I took her hand in mine and we started the trek through the snow and trees towards the meadow.

Bella let go of my hand as soon as we reached the opening and laughed and spun around, not unlike the first time I brought her here, and fell to the ground.

And then she chucked a ball of snow at me.

"Hey!" I dodged it and then lunged at her and she rolled and I was wet and covered in snow and smiling like never before.

And nervous.

Like... shaking in my boots – literally.

We settled in the middle of the meadow, our ski-suits protecting us from the cold on the ground and I just took a moment to admire the creature in my arms.

Then, taking a deep breath, I whispered her name.

"Hmm?"

"Remember our first date, I brought you here."

She nodded and I felt her smile from where my cheek rested against hers. "You told me about Emmett and how you thought you were 'bad'." She scoffed.

"'We will all laugh at gilded butterflies' you told me."

"And it's true."

"Well... you were right. All along. I _was _putting up a front, being the way I was."

She turned in my lap so that she could face me.

I took another deep breath and smiled. "But it wasn't because I was scared. I just didn't care." She raised her eyebrow at me and I rolled my eyes. "I didn't have a reason to... until you."

She smiled and leaned in to kiss me. "Well I'm glad you saw the light because, frankly... you were an ass." She laughed and I pretended to be offended and chucked some loose snow at her. But then I wiped it off... because I didn't want her to get cold.

"The point is Bella..." I slowly slid the glove off of her left hand and reached into my pocket. Her eyes widened. "You make me _want_ to be a better person. Someone who could love you and provide for you, and remind you everyday just how beautiful you are," and then she gasped as the cool white gold slid onto her finger, "Someone worth being your husband."

We were quiet for a second, both of us admiring the ring on her finger as my words hung in the air above us. And then I took a deep breath and completed the speech I rehearsed for days, "Will you marry me Bella?"

It felt as if time had stopped. I could hear my heart pounding loudly in my ears and despite the cold, my palms were sweating.

She was still, staring at me with wide eyes, her mouth hanging open and I didn't have any real thoughts other than what I would do if she rejected me.

And then... all of a sudden... time restarted and, as the grin spread across her face, she flew into my arms; laughing and nodding and kissing me, and telling me how corny I was.

But that didn't matter because she was mine, and corny was what we did and who we were and I could live with that.

As long as she was by my side.

**

* * *

Author's Note: **I'm feeling Edward's pain here. Yah know, with the nerves and all.

Fail?

-Janicee.


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: **I don't own _The Twilight Saga.

* * *

_

**Chapter 11**

**Bella Swan**

Edward and I held hands the entire way back. We were a mess; our suits were damp, our hair soaked and we each donned these ridiculous smiles.

I couldn't wait to get into the house and announce our engagement. Edward had told me that the only people who knew he was going to propose were my father – since he had asked for permission first – and Emmett. The girls had no idea.

We pulled into Edward's parent's driveway and climbed out of the car.

"Everyone should already be here for dinner," he told me as we walked through the door.

"Hello?" I called out.

"We're in the kitchen!" Esme responded and I grinned as I kicked out of my boots, not even bothering to take off my coat or ski-pants as I slid into the kitchen.

"Guess what!" I hollered and then looked down into Rose's arms. My eyes widened. "Brook?" I looked from the smiling little girl to Rose.

"Surprise!" Brook giggled and climbed out of Rose's lap and came bounding towards me. I picked her up and looked at her, amazed that she was here.

"_Ewwey_." She scrunched her nose at me and the wetness of my suit but didn't pull away.

"I don't understand," I confessed.

Edward and Emmett came into the room then, followed by Carlisle.

Brook smiled up at me. "I gots to go home with Wosey."

I looked up to Rose. "As in...?"

She smiled. "Yep. It was official this morning." Emmett beamed from her side.

I squealed and squeezed Brook tighter, laughing and spinning her around.

"Whoa, is that...?" I heard and turned just in time to hear a loud pitch squeal. Alice was staring at my hand.

I looked down, confused. "Oh!" Setting Brook down, I smiled and bit my lip, reaching my hand out for Edward. When he clasped his hand in mine I looked at my family – because that's what they were – and grinned. "We have something to tell you."

Alice was hopping in her spot, Rose – who hadn't noticed the ring – was staring at us in confusion and Emmett smiled at us knowingly. Esme and Carlisle just stood there and waited patiently, each donning confused smiles.

Taking a deep breath, I looked up to Edward quickly before thrusting my hand out. "We're engaged!"

Gasps and cheers and smiles; our family surrounded us, and Brook giggled when Emmett picked her up and threw her over his shoulder to 'Rescue her from the gawking adults,' while I showed off my ring – white gold with a single diamond resting perfectly between two smaller ones.

When all had settled down, we sat around the table – Brook occupied with a glass of milk and some cookies from her new grandma – and I recounted the proposal.

"... and then he slid the ring onto my finger and – what felt like years later – asked me to marry him," I finished, staring longingly at my finger.

By this point, the guys had re-situated into the living room.

"Aw," Alice sighed, "I'm so happy for you Bells."

Rosalie nodded and pulled me to her, "Me too, B, you deserve it."

After pulling away, I sat back down and stared at her. "Now you go."

She had the audacity to look confused.

I pointed a look towards Brook who was now dunking a cookie with chocolate smeared all over her mouth.

She smiled at her; a loving, motherly smile. "Oh."

"Yeah, 'oh.'" I rolled my eyes.

"Well, Em and I were always going to adopt. It was something we've talked about forever. Because of what the Cullens' gave him, he wanted to be able to do that for someone else."

Alice and I both nodded her along.

"It took us some time to be authorized, being as young and freshly married as we are, but we were adamant about getting Brook once we were." She soothed down Brook's hair and cleaned her face. "You just talked so much about her, we fell in love. We didn't even need to meet her to know she was the one for us. But, of course, we did, and seeing her – so sweet and innocent – I couldn't even imagine anyone else." She smiled down at her sweetly.

"Can I go pway with Emmey?" she asked.

Rose winked, and nodded, and the little girl ran off.

"We wanted to wait to tell you guys, because if we weren't accepted, we didn't want any of you to feel sorry for us. It got harder, though, on our anniversary when we got the call." She was smiling so big now. "Our social worker told us that, after months of working on the home study, we were finally approved. So we met with Laura and when we asked about Brook, she nearly burst into tears." She shook her head with a small smile.

"Wait! You worked with Laura? Why didn't I know about this? I ask her about Brook every day."

She smiled through her emotions. "We asked to keep it a surprise. By the time we got to take her home with us, it all just seemed to make sense."

"Hold on," Alice cut in. "Why did it take so long for her to come home with you?"

"There's a process," I answered for her. "Even if they knew for a fact they wanted Brook, they still needed to look through her file, get to know her first, ease her into the move... Brook's really shy, so I'm not surprised it took as long as it did, but it could have been worse. Pre-placement visits can vary from a week to several months; it really depends on the child." Rose nodded.

"She's been coming over since late October. It was hard getting around you guys – especially you Bella with your work – but it was definitely worth it to see your faces." She took a deep breath, the smile never leaving her face. "And then we got the okay to come get her before vacation, that's why we had to stay behind until today."

We finished the conversation off on how they were adjusting. Rose said everything was fine and that Brook loved her new room – which she got to help design; picking out colors and dolls with her and Emmett.

And then the conversation dulled down to random subjects as we all stood to help Esme with the rest of dinner.

"Bella," Rose said.

I hummed and turned to look at her.

"Can we talk?"

I looked around – everyone was doing their own thing – and nodded.

Pulling me into Edward's piano room, she looked behind her and closed the door. "Okay, Emmett and I were talking and both decided that we wanted you and Edward to be Brook's God parents... what do you think?" she asked, looking beyond nervous. I gaped at her. "I mean, Brook already knows you so well, and is comfortable with you. And I know you're great with her. But if you don't want to I can always ask Ali-"

I shook my head and held up my hands to stop her. "Rose, I'm honored. If Edward agrees, then of course I'd love to be her God mother."

She breathed out a sigh of relief and, with a smile, threw her arms around me.

--

Supper went by smoothly. We had turkey dinner and a celebratory toast on both new additions to the family: Brook and I.

And then the boys cleaned up while the girls sat down in the living room.

"We need to do these family gatherings more often," Esme said as she bounced Brook on her knee. She had jumped right into her role as grandmother and, surprisingly, Brook didn't seem to mind so much.

We all agreed and soon enough, Brook's eyes started to drop. I knew her well enough to know that if we didn't put her to sleep now, she'd fight it and wouldn't sleep at all.

"Rose?" I whispered and pointed to Brook. "Do you want me to put her to bed?"

But Rose shook her head. "No, I'll do it." She bent down and picked her up out of Esme's arms and called for Emmett. He came out of the kitchen wiping his soapy hands on his purple apron, and looked over to Rose – holding his new daughter in her arms – and smiled the most honest, heart-warming smile I've ever seen that man wear, and the new family walked up the stairs together to Emmett's old room.

Esme sighed beside me. "I'm so glad she's finally here. Keeping that secret has been so difficult." She shook her head.

I nodded... "Wait," I turned to my future mother-in-law, "You _knew_?"

"What's that dear?" Esme hopped up from the couch. "Coming!"

Alice and I both laughed and pulled her back down. "Mrs. Cullen, you are _not_ getting off that easily."

--

"Did you talk to Rosalie?" Edward asked when we went up to his room to change.

I nodded. "Yes. What do you think? Because I really want to."

He pulled me into his arms. "Me too."

I smiled up at him and sighed. "I can't believe they were able to keep this from us. I mean, didn't Emmett rat you guys out on the bus prank in like the first ten seconds or something? How did he not cave?"

Edward grinned and kissed me once more. "Let's just say the power of a determined woman trumps his need to gossip."

--

We walked back down the stairs in old sweats and t-shirts ready to watch _The Grinch _with the family. I could smell the slightly burnt pop-corn and hot-chocolate – not the most delicious mixture but tradition – as we walked back into the living room.

Esme and Carlisle were cuddled up on the love seat, and Emmett and Rose were cuddled together on one end of the large couch – the other half empty for me and Edward.

Alice sat in the lazy boy in red and white plaid PJs and fuzzy red socks. "Hey, sexy lady." I grinned at her as I took my seat.

She giggled and winked, curling herself into a ball with her mug in her hands.

The movie didn't change since the last time I had seen it, yet I still saw it differently. Whether that was because I had changed, or because I was just noticing new and different things this time around, I didn't know. But it kept me on my toes.

By the time The Grinch saved Cindy-Lou and brought the presents back to town, I was smiling like a goof at the corniness of it all, loving every second of the classic rhymes, silly hair and teeth. Edward smiled and kissed the top of my head as I snuggled against him and sighed.

"Well, we're off to bed," Carlisle announced as the credits rolled. He pulled himself and his wife up out of their spot. "Are you guys going to hang around and watch another movie?"

It was about nine-thirty so we all decided on one more.

When the parentals left, I looked over to Alice on the chair alone and then to the small spot between Rose and I. Looking back over to Ali, I caught her eye and nudged my head to the spot and she beamed at me before hopping out of her chair. I held out my arms with a laugh as Edward put in one of the _Home Alone_ movies and she snuggled under the blankets, curled up with me and Rose.

Edward pretended to glare at her when he turned around and reclaimed his seat. "Mine," he growled and tugged me over to him.

She giggled and shook her head. "I saw her first."

They played back and forth, tugging me each time, until the movie started to play. Then Rose shushed us and I grinned.

"You can both have me," I stated, grabbing both of their hands.

They agreed and we all quieted down for the movie.

--

"Wakey, Bewwa!" A small creature shook me from my uncomfortable slumber and I lifted my head up off of the couch in a daze to see Brook peering over me. I picked her up and settled her in between me and the back of the sofa.

"Where is everyone?" I asked in a groggy voice. She giggled and pointed towards the kitchen.

"Ahh." I nodded and closed my eyes to go back to sleep.

"No, Bewwa." She shook me again. "No go to sweep."

I peeked open an eye and whined out a childish, "_Why not_?"

She poked me in the cheek. "Nana's making bweakfast." I smiled at her use of 'Nana'.

I sighed loudly and pretended to be put out as I asked, "What is Nana making?"

At this her eyes lit up. "Chocowet pancakes." She hummed and rubbed her belly.

I laughed at her cuteness and let my eyes go wide as I jumped up off the couch. "Well then we better go get some before they're all gone now, shouldn't we?" She nodded and I grinned. "Race yah?"

I let her win.

We settled ourselves at the kitchen table where everyone had already begun to eat their breakfasts.

"Merry Christmas," Edward greeted me with a smile. I leaned down to kiss him quickly.

"Merry Christmas." After pouring syrup on my pancakes, I looked up at him. "So I'm guessing I fell asleep during the movie, huh?" I asked. He nodded while he swallowed.

"We all did. Dad woke us up; we were all crammed together on the couch."

I laughed. "I wish I could have seen what we looked like."

"Oh... you can. Like I said, dad woke us up, but not before mom took a picture." He laughed and rolled his eyes.

We finished breakfast and moved into the living room not long after. There were tons of brightly wrapped gifts under the tree and my eyes widened when I realized the flaw in keeping Brook's adoption a surprise.

"Rose," I called her over and whispered quickly in her ear, "We don't have any presents for Brook."

She just smiled. "Emmett and I covered that. We got something from both you and Edward, and Alice under there."

I breathed a sigh of relief.

Esme and Carlisle finished the cleanup and rushed into the living room.

"Why don't we all start off with Brook, and then work our way around, hmm?" she suggested.

We all oohed and awed at all Brook's new toys. She had never had a big Christmas like this. At the home there was a tree and there were presents, but only what was donated from the city. So each kid only got a couple of things. Today, Brook had a pile larger than she was and she was all smiles.

As she finished up the rest of the gifts, and we moved on to Esme and Carlisle while she played, there was a knock at the door.

"Want me to get it?" I offered, so that they could continue with their gifts.

"Please." Esme nodded.

I stood up, stepping around the mess of presents and wrapping paper as I made my way to the door.

"Oh, Bella?" Alice asked from the living room. I paused.

"Yeah?"

"Would you mind grabbing my camera on your way back, I forgot it in the kitchen."

"Sure." I shrugged and threw open the door.

I wasn't prepared for who was there at all. Not even a little bit.

The first thing I noticed was the scar running down the length of his face – from his forehead to his chin, right through his left eye. And then I noticed his appearance. He looked back at me, the normal light in his eyes faded and pained. His hair was only a bit longer than I remembered; the crew cut he sported before he left obviously not being maintained any longer and his dark facial hair dusted the outline of his jaw.

My mouth ran dry as we stood there in silence, just staring, but it wasn't until I heard my name and the question, "Who is it?" that I realized it.

I made some sort of noise in the back of my throat and the room quieted down. Footsteps could be heard, and then a loud gasp filled the hallway behind me.

Jasper stared over my shoulder, his eyes red and moist as he held back tears. "Hi, guys... I'm home."

**

* * *

Author's Note:** There was a lot in this chapter. Hopefully it doesn't suck.

Picture of what I imagine Jasper looking like, scar and all, is here: www(.)i33(.)photobucket(.)com(/)albums(/)d54(/)fawkes4(/)Scar_Face__by_Natalie79(.)jpg

You know the deal; delete the brackets and all that.

- Janicee.


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: **I don't own _The Twilight Saga_.

* * *

**Chapter 12**

**Bella Swan**

Its funny how something so life changing and big to one person could mean absolutely nothing to the rest of the world.

That's what I thought as I watched my family surround Jasper with hugs and tears as voices blended together with everyone all talking at once.

While this happened, I stood there, my hand still grasping the door which was still wide open and thought: somewhere around the world there are people celebrating or just living, none the wiser to how much our lives have just been completed.

It almost made me feel guilty because, with that in mind, somewhere around the world another soldier didn't make it and another family's lives have just been destroyed.

And here we were: tears of joy and smiles so big the man on the moon could spot us.

I closed the door, still silent as I watched the scene before me unfold. Poor little Brook had no idea what was going on or who the man who had just walked in through the door was or meant to this family.

We gathered back into the living room – presents forgotten along with Alice's camera in the kitchen – waiting for some sort of explanation.

Jasper had let his tears fall, his cheeks streaked and blotchy with two clear wet lines, as he hung onto Ali like his life depended on it. She didn't seem to mind, though – her cheeks similar to his as she did the same. On his other side was Rose who wasn't crying, but had a look of confliction screwed about her face. Beside her was Emmett with Brook in his lap, and then Esme. Carlisle and Edward sat across from them on the table while I watched from the entryway.

I looked around, nearly laughing at the sight of everyone squeezing onto and around the couch to be as close to Jasper as possible. It was beautiful and heart-warming and a relief.

People were still talking at once, but that slowly dissipated when everyone realized that their mumbled and rushed questions were getting no answers.

And then, as if finally decided on what emotion to let show, Rose blurted with a fiery passion, "What the fuck happened?"

"Rose!" Alice screeched, jumping from her spot to glare at her.

"No, it's okay," Jasper spoke calmly, shaking his head as he gripped Alice's hand. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. "I don't know, or rather remember, a lot. Only flashes here and there every now and then.

"We were at our base and I forgot my water. I would have left it, but it was so hot there – so dry – and I could already feel the burn in my throat. Two other soldiers were waiting in the jeep for me and I ran back to our tent. There must have been a bombing or something because above all else, I remember the sound and how it shook me." He visibly shuddered and pulled Alice closer to him. "After that it's a little fuzzy. I ran out of the tent to see what had happened and the jeep was on fire; big heavy flames near the front. My name was called throughout the chaos, one man was trapped – his harness or something – I just remember pulling out my knife and cutting and cutting until my hand was sore. The jeep must have blown up or something, because I woke up in a hospital with no memory of any of it two weeks later, and this scar along my face." He grimaced as he pointed to the long pinkish gash before taking a deep breath. Finally, he shrugged. "Things started to come back eventually, but it took time."

Alice stared in silent horror before a broken sob escaped her lips. "But you woke up so long ago. Why weren't you home? Why weren't you here?"

"I was in a coma, baby," he explained. "When I woke up, it wasn't just what had happened I couldn't remember. I had no idea who I was or where I was from. I had no dog tags and if it wasn't for my uniform when I was brought in, I wouldn't have even known that I was a soldier."

She broke down completely then and shook her head, mumbling things I couldn't hear from where I stood as Carlisle and Edward immediately jumped into doctor mode, asking questions I didn't even attempt to understand.

It wasn't until Edward broke it down for me later that I clued in.

"There are different levels of comas," he said. "Think: Good, okay and bad. If you're in the 'good' category chances of you waking up, and with little to no disability, is great. If you're 'okay' chances of waking up is still good, but you'll likely have disabilities to live with. And if it's bad, chances of waking up are slim to none."

"So where did Jasper stand?" I asked.

"He fell into the 'good' category but, even so, it was like his whole system crashed and then rebooted. He had his memory wiped and it took some time to recover it – some might never come back."

Apparently it wasn't uncommon for this to happen to someone who had woken from a coma, I learned: loss of hearing, jumbled speech, having no recollection to who they were at all. In fact, a lot of the times it's like starting over completely. The doctors have to teach you how to walk and talk and do normal everyday things.

"So that's why he took so long to come home, he was re-learning everything?"

He shook his head. "He didn't lose everything, just mainly his memory. He could still function, which is great, but he will still need to re-learn some things, like driving for instance. The main problem was remembering _who_ he was."

And all I could think about was how horrible it must have been for him to wake up scared and confused, knowing absolutely nothing about himself.

"Wow," I breathed and looked down, not even able to imagine it.

--

The week passed quickly and things I didn't seem to notice before with Jasper, I started to. Like how he now stuttered occasionally when before his speech was smooth and in control. He also got frustrated really easily which, with him, was strange to see.

Alice didn't seem to mind any of the changes, though, and only encouraged him. I'd even overheard him talking about his scar and her reassuring him that she thought it was sexy. I immediately felt bad for intruding and had quickly walked away.

It was now New Year's Eve and Jasper was sitting on the floor next to Brook coloring. His arm kept shaking which, in turn, caused the crayon to swerve out of the lines. He'd frown and close his eyes, take a deep breath and smile down at his niece before choosing another picture and starting over.

I sat and watched the two interact from my spot on the lazy boy curiously. He seemed to take to Brook quickly after their initial meeting.

_I wasn't the only one who noticed Jasper staring at the little girl in Emmett's arms. He kept furrowing his brow like he was trying to solve some extremely hard math equation or something. _

_After a few minutes of this, he grabbed at his hair and pulled... hard. _

"_Whoa, Jazzy, what's wrong?" I heard Alice ask softly. _

_We all wanted to know, so no one offered to give them space. Rude? Maybe. But they didn't seem to mind. _

_He looked once again at Brook and then to Rose... and then to Emmett, before closing his eyes tightly and shaking his head. "I can't remember," he breathed through clenched teeth. "Why can't I remember?" _

"_Remember what honey?" She soothed his hands out of his hair and grasped them tightly. _

"_Her." He looked over to Brook who was none-the-wiser to the exchange as she stared at the television._

_I felt really bad, because _of course_ he didn't remember her – he's never met her. But he didn't know that. _

_She shushed him and then looked over to Rose pleadingly so that she could explain. _

_Rose smiled and picked up Brook from her husband's arms and brought her over to her distraught brother. "Jazz, I'd like you to meet Brook; your niece." Brook, always so shy, peeked at her uncle from behind Rose's legs. _

_He seemed to struggle to smile. "Hi Brook." _

_She closed one of her eyes and, hugging onto Rose, waved her little fingers at him. _

_He looked up to Rose. "How old is she?" _

"_Three." When a look of anguish crossed his features Rose cleared her throat. "She's adopted Jazz. It was just finalized a few days ago. This is the first time you've met her." _

_I think we all breathed out a sigh of relief when she cleared that up. _

Since then, he's been the perfect uncle, wanting to know everything and anything the little girl had to say.

"Bewwa?" Brook looked up to me from her page. I smiled.

"Yes?"

"I with Wosey for good, wight?" I nodded. "But what about de otha kids?" She frowned.

I thought about it. "One day they'll find homes. Just like you, Brooky." And I hoped it was true.

"Will I eva see dem again?" she asked in a small voice.

I looked over to the sweet, sweet girl and smiled warmly at her. "Just say the word kid and I'll bring you, okay?" She nodded with a small smile and, placated, went back to coloring with her uncle.

--

I helped with dinner this time, and set about mashing the potatoes as Esme checked on the ham.

Satisfied, she closed the oven and dropped the mitt onto the counter, breathing out heavily. "When are Charlie and Sue coming?"

At the mention of Charlie's new girlfriend I grinned. "Should be any minute now. When's Lynnette due back, do you know?"

She rolled her eyes in good humor. "I'm surprised that woman left Jasper's side long enough to go grab her pies, the way she's been clinging on to him this week." She shook her head and then, peeking out into the living room, smiled sadly. "I can't say I blame her though. I love Jasper dearly, and him being missing devastated me, but if it were either Edward or Emmett, I'd be doing the very same thing as she."

Just then the doorbell rang and I watched as Edward opened it up and welcomed in my father and Sue, taking each of their coats like a good little host.

I smiled and quickly excused myself from Esme to go greet them.

"Bella," Dad said, pulling me to him. "It smells delicious in here. Who did you say was cooking?" I smiled up at him.

"Esme and I... well, I mashed the potatoes," I admitted sheepishly, "and steamed the veggies. That's all."

"And it was plenty," Esme finished as she pulled Dad to her and kissed him on the cheek. "Charlie, so good to see you." She looked over to Sue and beamed. "And you must be Sue; I'm Esme – Edward and Emmett's mother."

Sue breathed out and nodded, taking her pro-offered hand. "It's nice to meet you. You have a lovely home."

Esme smiled gratefully.

"So, when are Seth and Leah coming?" I asked, excited.

Sue frowned. "Leah actually decided to spend the day with Jake's family, but Seth should be here shortly." I smiled in understanding and ushered them into the living room.

Soon everyone was here and Seth – the much larger version than I remembered – seemed to fit in just like his mother.

We laughed and ate and played and then all gathered back into the living room with the TV on as the countdown started.

"What's your New Year's resolution?" Edward whispered as he held me from behind, both of us watching the numbers run backwards on the screen as the voices echoed around us.

I hadn't thought much about it, to be honest. So I hadn't prepared to say anything. But, as I briefly considered what I wanted to happen in the New Year, I turned in my fiancés arms.

"I think... what I really want, is to move forward."

He grinned and leaned down, his hands pulling me closer and his lips touching mine... just as the ball dropped.

**

* * *

Author's Note:** This story is wrapping up. My estimate as of now is at least sixteen chapters, but that may change. And I know there are things that still need to be covered – they will be, don't worry. And keep in mind that even if it is coming to an end, it isn't over _yet_. I still have a few more things up my sleeves...

- Janicee.


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer:** I don't own _The Twilight Saga._

**Chapter 13**

**Edward Cullen**

The new year seemed to be starting off on a good foot.

My internship was going well with fewer incidents, which meant that Mrs. Anderson had found herself another doctor, or had calmed down with the emergency visits altogether.

Bella was fantastic, really. Nothing more needed to be said... except she still hadn't said anything else about Phoenix... still. I understood, I swear I did, but the longer she put it off, the more it was unlikely to happen. And yeah, sure she seems okay – happy even – but the idea of it still haunts her; not Aiden, or Phoenix even... but James.

Because_ he_ was who was in Phoenix. _He_ was what could go wrong.

Jasper, my best friend, was home. And putting aside any obstacles – he was happy. And there were definitely obstacles, despite how he presented himself. I saw his file: there was more to his condition than he shared with the rest of the family – presumably so that he wouldn't be babied about it.

Turns out that Jasper was prescribed Dilantin before he came home, which was a medicine for seizures.

He seemed to be only getting better where his memory was concerned though, as he continued his rehabilitation at my hospital...

"How's things going, Jazz?" I asked as I walked him to the door. He shrugged and ran his hand through his hair.

"I'm in like, three different types of therapy. And not just physical and speech shit either. They have me in a bunch of different psychotherapy programs for my memory and stress and I just feel... overwhelmed." He shook his head.

"What does Alice think?"

He smiled a little. "She's been really supportive... hovering... but supportive. I understand though. It's been over a year."

I grinned and slapped him on the back. "Just keep at it. Things will only get better from here."

"Yeah, I'm hoping that after everything's unpacked and we're all settled, it'll die down some." I nodded. He and Alice were officially moving in together... finally. When he went away, he didn't bother renting his apartment anymore and put all of his things into storage for when he got home. And now, understandably, they didn't want to put anything off ever again, so they started unloading his things straight into Alice's place where he's been staying.

"I hope so buddy." We hugged goodbye and I waved him off, watching as he climbed into a cab.

"Dr. Cullen?"

I turned around. "Yes?"

The nurse breathed out. "Good, I'm so glad I found you before you left. You're needed it Mr. Michaels' room immediately. It's urgent."

I frowned and thanked her before hurrying up to Chuck's room, wondering what it could be.

"Dr. Roberts?" I stopped dead in my tracks when he looked up at me. Machines were beeping like crazy as nurses fluttered about doing too many things at once.

He frowned and gave a slight shake of his head.

He wasn't going to make it.

--

I like to think that things happen for a reason: that when it's time... it's time, and accept that, move on. I had to, really, with how many people just _don't make it._

But I still couldn't get the image of Chuck dying out of my head; how he looked so frail and weak and nothing like Chuck at all.

I gripped the small piece of paper in my hands, remembering his last words before everything just... stopped, _"Tell him I love him and I'm sorry." _

I walked out of the changing room with my bag slung over my shoulder and made my way home in a daze, completely unlike myself as I pulled into the buildings' parking lot.

Bella wasn't home. I didn't know if I was thankful for that, or upset. I guess I was just neutral. I didn't want her to see me so shaken.

And over a patient.

But he wasn't just _any_ patient; one I tended for, made small talk and went on to the next in need. Over his short time spent in the hospital he became my friend, someone I could confide in and joke with. And even though I knew he wouldn't live much longer from the very start, it still felt like it was way too soon.

And that was the truth. Because even though I knew... _knew_... how sick he really was, and that it was a miracle he even lived as long as he did, I just wasn't prepared. I don't think I'd ever be.

And it was with him on my mind as I slouched down onto the couch, my head falling into my hands, and silently cried.

--

"Hey, _hey_... Edward?" I felt my body shift and peeked an eye open to see Bella hovering over me. "What's wrong?" she asked softly, wiping a tear from my cheek.

Shit, I must have been crying in my sleep. I groaned and quickly moved to sit up, swatting at the tears angrily.

"Shh, it's okay," she just said, and her words knocked the wind out of me. I couldn't stop them, the seal was broken, I was powerless... so I just cried.

She must have rocked me like a baby for an hour before the tears subsided. I had never felt smaller than I did, just then. When the tears did stop, though, I didn't let her go, just pulled her tighter to me.

"What happened?" she asked quietly, looking up at me with red, watery eyes – so like Bella to cry because I was.

I took a deep breath and tugged her closer. "A patient died today. It hit me pretty hard." I choked on my words slightly and shook my head, angry at myself for losing it like this.

She frowned and, leaning her forehead against mine, looked deeply into my eyes. "It's okay to cry, Edward, you know that right? I'll never, ever, look down on you for it."

I simply nodded. I knew she wouldn't, she's never before, but that didn't make me feel any less of an idiot for losing my composer. She shook her head.

"I mean it. Your job is stressful and it's hard and if you don't let yourself _feel_, than it's going to come back at you much, much worse in the future. There's nothing wrong with feeling compassionate, Edward. _Nothing_."

I took a deep breath. "I know, thank you."

Nodding, she swept a bang from my face. "Do you want to talk about it? The patient, I mean."

I was going to say no: that it was too soon, I wouldn't be able to handle it. But before I could even really think about it, I was spouting off all sorts of things about Chuck; his condition, the basics, and how close we had gotten in such a short time. I told her stories, and laughed even at some of the better memories.

And I felt surprisingly... good.

And then finally, I got to the end, telling her his last words. "And then he took my hand and shoved this little piece of paper into it." I shook my head and held it up. "I haven't even opened it."

"Do you want to?" she asked.

I thought about it. "Yes... but not now. Right now I just want to... remember."

She smiled softly and took my hand, and I did just that.

--

"So... when's the wedding going to be?" Emmett asked through the phone.

I shrugged. "We haven't really gotten that far, to be honest."

He gasped. "Seriously, dude?"

"Yes..."

"Rose and I discussed that like _the minute _after I proposed."

"So...?"

"_So_, you're slacking dude!"

I rolled my eyes. "I'm just happy she agreed. When and how doesn't matter as long as it _will_."

"So you're not the least bit anxious to make her yours forever?"

I scoffed. "_Pah_lease. She was mine the very moment she parked in my spot in high school."

"Excuse me?"

I turned to look at Bella, who I had no idea was standing there to begin with, obviously. She crossed her arms over her chest and lifted an eyebrow at me.

"Uh, I gotta go." I quickly hung up the phone, ignoring Emmett's laugh on the other end.

I smiled sheepishly at her. "So... you didn't happen to hear the first part, did you? About me being _so happy_ you agreed to marry me?"

"I heard you telling your brother I was yours since I stole your spot."

"And what I meant by that, my sweet, lovely, fiancé, was that we were meant for each other from the start."

"Mhm hmm."

I pulled her to me. "No, it's true. You had me from the very first time you threatened to punch me in the face."

She snorted. "Yeah, well you definitely deserved it."

I agreed. "So..."

She tilted her head. "So... what?"

"So... when am I gonna get to call you my _wifey_?"

She rolled her eyes at that. "I don't know. When do you want to?"

"Tomorrow?"

She laughed. "Uh... no, I'm afraid not."

I sighed dramatically. "Well then, missy, I have no preference. Tell me the time and the day, and I'll be there."

She leaned up to kiss me. "Deal."

We made supper and cuddled on the couch until it was time for bed.

And it wasn't until I was half-asleep that I realized... she never did tell me _when_.

--

"Okay, you guys bring in the boxes and we'll put them in the right rooms and start to unpack. If we work quickly and sufficiently, we should be done by the end of the day," Alice instructed firmly.

She was definitely coming back to her old self... and quickly.

"Got it," Emmett hollered with a mock-salute. She flipped him off. "Hey, hey, hey... not in front of the baby." He pointed to Brook who was paying absolutely no attention to us.

Alice rolled her eyes and walked back into her place, mumbling, "Whatever _Papa Bear_," which he took no offence to at all.

Like Alice predicted, we got the place completely unpacked by the end of the day... and were all currently crammed into their living room with the empty boxes, a couple of pizzas, beer and juice for Brook as we watched cartoons... because Brook wanted to and nobody had figured out the key to saying no to her little pouty face as of yet, not even Bella who's known her the longest.

Brook finished nibbling on her pizza and climbed into Emmett's lap like it was the most natural thing for her to do and even more surprisingly, he hugged her to him and smiled at her, not even the least put out that she was blocking the food. He just patted her little head and asked Rose to pass him another piece.

It made me wonder what it'd like to be a dad, watching my brother take on the task so readily.

A sweet little girl with a cute button nose and rosy cheeks, with hair and lips like her mother and eyes like me.

Yeah, I could picture it.

But that didn't mean I was ready, or even that Bella was for that matter.

I just smiled at the thought and looked around the room. There was no rush; I could wait for children and my impending wedding, I could even wait for the necessary trip to Phoenix.

Because right now, with our missing piece and our new addition, everything was complete.

--

I woke up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat with a pounding headache – bad dreams a distant memory. I put it off long enough; I wouldn't get back to sleep if I didn't go through with it. I had to man up. Get 'er done so I could go to sleep and wake up in time for work.

It was with that thought that I climbed out of bed and snatched the piece of paper out of my coat pocket, before turning right back around and sitting on the edge of the bed with a new sense of determination.

Using my cell phone as a light, I carefully unfolded the crinkled note.

The writing was a messy scrawl of a sick man and before I absorbed the content of the paper, I frowned at the thought of a passed friend.

And then I gasped.

"What? What's wrong?" Bella's voice was raspy and tired and I felt like a dick for waking her, but I couldn't apologize. I couldn't do anything.

Because on that little piece of paper, a dying man's last wish, was the name and number of Chuck's son.

**Author's Note:** So... may not seem like a big deal, but that's a HUGE responsibility for Edward.

Just saying.

- Janicee.


	14. Chapter 14

**Disclaimer: **I don't own _The Twilight Saga.

* * *

_

**Chapter 14**

**Bella Swan**

"He lives here in Seattle, Bella." Edward paced back and forth in front of me.

"How do you know? Didn't he just give you the number?"

He waved that off. "I looked him up."

I nodded like that was perfectly fine and not creepy what-so-ever. "_Okay_. So why don't you call first, schedule a time to meet... and then tell him in person?"

He flopped down onto the couch. "But what am I supposed to say? I didn't even know Chuck had a son until this happened. And what if he didn't even know he was sick, then that's even worse." He pouted and it made me sad so I climbed into his lap and wrapped my arms around him.

"Tell him what happened. Tell him why and how and explain it to him medically. And then tell him what Chuck told you to tell him."

"But... what if he doesn't care?" His forehead creased. "I mean, he lives near here and hasn't visited Chuck once. If he really cared about him, don't you think he would have found out, regardless of Chuck telling him or not."

"Maybe not," I shrugged, "and Chuck told you to apologize for him. There's more to this story than you and I know."

He sighed and nodded. "Yeah, this is just really hard... you know? I've had to tell people their loved ones died before, but it's never been this hard."

I soothed his hair down. "That's because to them, you were just a doctor. Yes, you cared. But to Chuck, you were his friend. It's personal"

He nodded and pulled me down closer to him. "I love you, Bella."

I smiled and leaned down to kiss him gently. "I love you too."

--

"It's not that I don't want to marry him. I do... so much. I just want my past resolved before I start my future."

"I know baby, I know. But you putting things off isn't the answer."

I sighed and nodded. "I know that, Mom, but it's not like I'm avoiding. I'm just not ready. I can't rush this."

She hummed. "Okay, hon, I understand. Just call me when you're ready and we'll make all the arrangements for you. All you'll have to do is get on the plane."

I smiled. "Thanks, Mom."

"No problem, sweetie, that's what I'm here for."

I laughed out an, "I love you, Mom," and hung up the phone, flopping down onto my bed.

Edward was at work and I had the day off with nothing to do with myself but twiddle my thumbs – which was exactly what I was doing as I stared at my ceiling.

When my phone rang just after lunch, I think I breathed out in relief I was so bored.

"Hello?"

"Bella? It's Rose. Are you busy?"

Pft. _Right_. "Uh... no. Why?"

"Good. I need a favor. Can you watch Brook? I –"

I didn't even let her finish before I shouted, "Yes!" into the phone.

She laughed. "Alright, we'll be over in a minute. Thanks B."

Rose dropped Brook off and rushed out the door shortly after, but not before quickly pecking her on the head goodbye.

"So..." I looked down at her. "What'd yah wanna do?" I asked.

She tapped her bottom lip with her tiny little finger. "Can we go pway wit da kids at da home?" She blinked up at me.

"Hm... I don't know. I mean, there's so much going on here..." I looked around the empty, boring apartment.

She rolled her eyes at me. Like, legitimately.

"Gosh, you really are Rose's kid now, aren't yah? You little goof." I shook my head. "I think, just because of that, we're going to stay here and do nothing all day."

And then came the pout. "Pwease Bewwa? _Pwease_?"

Like I would refuse her?

She giggled and squealed when I picked her up and threw her over my shoulder.

"Alright, Brooky, let's go!"

I walked outside and took one look at my truck and cursed, setting Brook down in the process.

She gasped. "Bewwa! You swored!"

I looked at her sheepishly. "Oops."

She crossed her arms and shook her head, looking at me frighteningly similar to when Rose reprimanded Emmett for something or another; it was amazing how many of her traits she was already picking up.

I rolled my eyes. "Oh, don't look at me like that," I said as I took her hand and walked towards the bus stop. I didn't have a car seat in my truck and she was too little to sit in the front of any vehicle yet anyway, and that's all my truck had to offer.

She followed silently and squealed when the bus stopped in front of us. "We get to wide dat?" She pointed to it.

I nodded and winked and pulled her on, paying our fare before finding a seat near the back doors.

The bus drove us pretty close to The Home – the stop only a couple of buildings down – and we climbed off, Brook still reeling about how exciting it was to ride the bus.

When we saw the large brown building, Brook had me up the steps and inside quicker than I could blink. She let go of my hand almost immediately to run and play with the other kids. I smiled, knowing that she'd be taken care of, and stepped into Laura's office.

She looked up, surprised to see me and grinned. "Now, what are you doing here on your day off Bella Swan?"

I sighed happily and fell into the chair in front of her desk. "Oh, you know me; can't stay away for long."

She rolled her eyes.

"I'm babysitting my new niece today, she wanted to see the kids," I then explained.

She nodded. "I don't think I could have been any happier with her placement," she told me. "She found parents who love her, and she has you and a beautiful family to look out for her."

I smiled. "And we will. But don't be surprised if you see her around a lot. Her pout is irresistible." I shook my head in mock regret.

Laura let out a hearty laugh and nodded.

She knew.

**Edward Cullen**

It was a small duplex, bigger than my apartment, but small nonetheless. Half bricks, half white siding, a white door. A large full view window a foot from the ground, two smaller room sized windows at the top. A blue Chevy was parked in the driveway, fairly new, in good condition. The yard was clean cut, the neighbourhood was decent.

And by noticing all these things, I was stalling.

I took a deep breath and climbed out of my car. After calling Chuck's son, Evan as the note informed me, we agreed on meeting here, at his home.

I wasn't ready... but would I ever be?

Not for this.

I shut the door and clicked the lock, taking smaller strives than normal as I neared the front steps.

Another deep breath.

three knocks.

It took exactly twenty-two seconds for him to open the door.

Evan had an oval face, blond messy hair and blue eyes. He was about my size, both in height and in width. He wore a regular blue t-shirt and a loose pair of jeans and had to be at least ten years older than me. The last thing I noticed before he spoke was that he was barefoot.

"Yes?"

I cleared my throat. "Uh... Evan? Evan Michaels?"

His eyes sort of widened as he nodded.

"Dr. Edward Cullen." I stuck my hand out for him to shake, which he did.

"Come on in." He stepped aside and led me into his living room. I noticed a woman around the same age as he and a little girl, around eleven or twelve, in the kitchen.

"Have a seat."

I nodded and sat down. He did the same.

"So..." He coughed awkwardly and looked around the room. "You said this was about my father?"

Another deep breath.

"Yes. Did you know much about his health?"

He shook his head. "I haven't spoken to him in years."

I was a little surprised, but I knew it had to be something like that. He would have visited him if they had been close.

"Well, he was diagnosed with lung cancer in February of last year." I watched curiously as the lines between his brow furrowed. "He was in the hospital that I worked in, and I was his assigned doctor."

"_Was_?"

I closed my eyes. "Your father passed away on Tuesday. I'm sorry."

It was quiet for a long couple of minutes before I heard a whoosh of air as it flew out of his lungs. Opening my eyes, I watched as he held his head in his hands, his body shaking back and forth.

"He can't... I didn't get to..." he mumbled and shook his head again.

"Dad?" The little girl peered at her father curiously from behind the corner.

"Jenna, finish your homework," the woman called as she followed her out. She stopped when she saw what I assumed was her husband. "Evan? What is it?"

He croaked out a short answer and she was by his side in a minute.

He calmed down, taking a deep breath and looked up at me. "How? Why?"

I couldn't tell him why, I could only explain how. So I did. Telling him everything I knew about his father's condition.

After I had explained, in great detail, what exactly had caused what, I offered to go and give him space. I didn't know what else I could do for him, I didn't think there was anything else I _could_ do.

As we reached the door, though, I remembered what Chuck had said just before he passed and turned around quickly. "I don't know why, nor is it my place to, but your father told me to tell you that he was sorry, and that he loved you."

He closed his eyes and nodded, thanking me in a broken voice and I left him there, where he'd find comfort in the arms of his love, like I did.

--

It was April 26h, Alice's birthday.

Her apartment was completely packed, because... well, it was Alice.

I took Bella's hand and navigated through the throngs of people laughing and drinking and having fun in search of the birthday girl.

"Over there," Bella said, pointing towards the kitchen. I followed her direction and ended up right in front of Alice.

"Oh! You're here!" Alice shouted when she noticed us. "And you wore all black!" she squealed.

I rolled my eyes but nodded. "It's your birthday, so what you say goes."

She quickly snapped a picture of each of us with a Polaroid camera and hung them both from a string before placing them around our necks.

"Okay, everyone, listen up!" Alice shouted as Jasper graciously turned down the music. "The game is called Assassin and the object is to kill or be killed. You each have a picture hanging from your necks. That is your lifeline. The goal is to get as many pictures as you can, but if you get killed – someone takes your picture – then you have to hand over the picture of everyone you killed and come back here, to the party. Everybody understand?"

Everyone nodded. "You have five minutes to get out of the house; you can go anywhere on this block, as long as it's on foot. Ready? Go!"

Everybody scattered out of the house at once, and throughout all of the chaos, I lost Bella.

"Where did she come up with this game?" I asked Jasper while I stood and waited for the doorways to clear.

He shrugged. "She saw it on Gossip Girl."

I nodded and laughed and checked the clock. Four minutes passed. "Fuck," I muttered before quickly turning to Jasper, he grinned. I gave him a mock salute, "See yah," and booked it out the house.

It was dark, which made the game just that much harder considering we were all decked out in night gear. I briefly wondered what would happen if the police drove by; twenty plus people running around the area looking like they're about to rob something.

But my thoughts stopped when I heard the bush rumble behind me.

"Who's there?" I asked, walking closer towards the noise.

Nothing.

I stopped right in front of it and peered over. A hand quickly shot through the branches and snatched my picture before I could even blink.

"Shit," I mumbled as Bella stood up and waved my picture in front of me.

"Haven't you learned anything from scary movies?" she tsked. "You're supposed to move _away_ from the strange noises in the dark, not towards them." She stuck her tongue out at me and ran away.

I laughed and made my way back to the party where quite a few people already were.

The party got bigger and bigger as more people were 'killed' and we were all patiently waiting for the last few players to come back – to find out who had won.

Emmett had come in not too long after me, cursing about Rosalie catching him off guard. I nodded in complete agreement, sympathizing.

Then Alice came back, rolling her eyes at how Bella took hers.

Another fifteen minutes later and the door opened and in came Bella who shook her head. "It's between Jasper and Rosalie." We all groaned because they were wicked competitive, especially with each other.

It was at least an hour later before the door opened again and in came Jazz and Rose, both covered in dirt and leaves as Rose held up Jasper's picture proudly while he claimed that he, "Let her win."

She snorted and slapped him on the back of his head. "Whatever. I totally won fair and square."

Alice presented her with her prize, which was a dollar store quality ribbon that said, "Number one assassin," which was clearly part of a kid's game. Rose wore it with pride.

The rest of the night was filled with laughter; people telling their stories on who had killed them, and who they had killed prior to that.

There were drinks, music and good friends. Food came later – a dozen boxes of pizzas delivered on Jasper's dime – and devoured just a quick as they came.

We danced and laughed and goofed around.

And it felt just like the old times, when we were nothing but a bunch of carefree kids.

**

* * *

Author's Note:** I saw that game on Gossip Girl; it looked really fun and seemed like something Alice would do.

Are you guys interested in a short outtake on Chuck/Evan's history? It's not necessary to the story, but it'll give a bit of insight on what the, "I'm sorry," was for. I'm thinking maybe after I finish, I'll add it to the end.

And am I really the last to find out that Daddy's Little Cannibal faked her death? Dammit.

- Janicee.


	15. Chapter 15

**Disclaimer: **I don't own _The Twilight Saga_.

* * *

**Chapter 15**

**Edward Cullen**

April morphed into May which seemed to quickly change into June.

She still hadn't set a date.

And I wasn't an idiot. I knew what day was coming up.

She was less like herself lately; baking more often, watching more TV and working a lot harder to keep her mind distracted.

This had gone on long enough.

"Bella?" She hummed from her spot on the couch. "Can we talk?"

She put her game on pause and turned to me. "Yep."

"About the wedding?"

She bit her lip. "I'm going to Phoenix," she blurted.

I flinched back. "Really?"

She nodded all shy-like. "And I'll tell you a date when I get home. Okay?"

Well, that went a helluva lot smoother than I had planned.

"Alright." I nodded. "Yeah, okay. When are we going?"

She didn't look at me.

"Bella?"

She coughed. "It's not that I don't want you to come. I just think I need to do this on my own..."

Fuck.

"You're going alone?"

She stared down at her hands and nodded.

I sighed, it's not like I could change her mind. "Alright."

She looked up at me quickly. "Really? You're not mad?"

I shook my head. "No, Bella. I'm not mad."

Because I was going to Phoenix, whether it was with her or not.

--

"Are you flipping dense?" Rosalie's lack of swearing would have been comical had she not been talking to me.

I rolled my eyes and ignored Alice, who was shaking her head from beside me, and looked across the table to Brook, who was happily eating a grilled cheese sandwich.

"Is it good?" I asked her. She smiled up at me and nodded.

"Uh, hello, Edward? I asked you a question."

I huffed. "No, Rosalie, I am not dense."

"Stupid, idiotic, just plain dumb?"

I snorted. "Brook, don't repeat anything she says okay?"

She giggled.

"Edward!"

"What?" I glared up at her.

"Going behind her back is the worst thing to do." She folded her arms and stood over me.

"Well, she said she wanted to go alone. I'm letting her. I just want to be there in case she needs me," I defended.

"What about work?" she asked.

"I already got it off."

She made a noise very similar to a growl. "You just can't, Edward. It's... rude."

Alice nodded.

"It's not like I'm going to spy on her or anything. I'll book a room and if she calls, I'll come. If she doesn't I'll go home and everything will be alright."

"Until she finds out you went behind her back."

I rolled my eyes and stood up. "Whatever, Rose. I'm going so get over it." I looked around her kitchen. "And how did this conversation even start? I came here to see Emmett."

"He's not here. And fine, go. I'll be here to say I told you so when you get home." She smirked and turned to clean up Brook.

"Bye, Brook." I waved at the little girl. She waved back happily as Rose wiped her mouth. I turned to Alice and offered a less-than-friendly goodbye before heading out the door, not even bothering with Rose.

--

"Do you have everything?" I asked as she stared at her packed suitcase on our bed, hugging her journal.

She nodded.

"So you're ready?" I asked.

She shook her head.

I sighed. "Bella, I'm all for this trip. But your flight leaves in an hour and we need to be there like... now. So if you want to wait and go some other time, we can do that. But you have to decide quickly."

"No," she choked out. "Let's go."

I smiled softly at her and grabbed the suitcase, because it was the gentlemanly thing to do, and it kept her away from the trunk... where my suitcase was.

We loaded up and climbed in and made our short journey in quiet.

"Alright," I took a deep breath and got out of the car, pulled her suitcase out and walked around to where she still hadn't opened her door, and did that too. "It'll be okay, baby." I pulled her out and hugged her to me. The journal poked me in the chest but I didn't let her go.

I walked her to as far as the airport would let me and gave her one last, hard kiss on the mouth. "I love you, Bella."

She nodded, her body physically shaking and went on her way.

I looked up at the flight chart and cursed, running back outside to park my car and grab my bag. The flights were close together and I needed to go through security and what-not.

Renee knew I was coming and promised to call as soon as Bella needed me. It's not that we didn't have faith in her, because I loved her more than anything and knew how strong she was, but it was a matter of her putting herself out there all alone when she had people there for her, to help shoulder the pain.

My flight landed a little over two hours later and I climbed off the plane and headed out to where the baggage claim was.

I called a taxi and found a room in a hotel not too far away from Renee's, and settled in for the night, just waiting for the call.

--

It was a lonely couple of days, I'll admit. And I soon started feeling guilty for going behind Bella's back when the phone rang.

"Yes?"

"Edward?"

It wasn't Renee.

"Bella? Are you okay?"

She sniffled. "No, not really."

I chucked on my shoes. "What's wrong?"

I heard her take a deep breath. "I just miss you. And being here kinda sucks." She let out a short, sad laugh.

"Do you want me there?" I bit my lip, my hand resting on the doorknob to my room as I waited for her.

She snorted. "It's kinda late now."

I opened the door and slid out. "Bella, I'll be there as soon as I can."

She started to argue but I shook it off and told her not to worry as I flagged down a taxi at the front doors.

"I'll let you go now, baby. Just hold tight."

"'kay. Love you," she mumbled.

"Love you."

I gave the taxi the address and was off in a flash.

I was a little nervous, really, as I stood at the front door of the house I knew to be Renee's. Obviously, I had never been there before so on top of the guilt of going behind Bel's back, there was the anxiousness of being in a place I wasn't familiar with. I shook that off quickly, though, and knocked.

The door flew open and out popped a completely surprised Bella, not that I expected any less.

"Hey, baby." I pulled her to me. She started crying immediately, clinging to me as she asked me how I got there so fast.

"We can talk about that later, but right now why don't we go for a walk?"

She wiped her face with her hands and nodded, slipping on a pair of flip flops and following me down the road.

"Wanna tell me about it?" I asked, squeezing her to me.

She shrugged, her bottom lip trembling ever so slightly.

"You don't have to," I assured and she nodded.

She ended up leading, because I didn't know where I was going, and we stopped at an elementary school not too far from where we started. She led me to the swings.

"I went to school here," she admitted as she swayed. I stood behind her and offered a push every now and then. She stopped suddenly and looked up at me. "Do you ever think about those times? When you were just a little kid and everything seemed so easy?"

I shrugged. "Not really. Elementary was actually kind of a weird point in my life, with Emmett coming and everything."

"Oh, right." She nodded and then quietly added, "I forgot about that." She thought for a minute. "So what do you think about, then? When you want to escape from the here and now?"

Again, I shrugged. "Sometimes I think back to that first day we met without all the drama. Just you and me, sitting in Bio, and me watching you draw."

She smiled up at me. "I love you."

I leaned down and pecked her on the lips. "Me too."

We stayed at the park until sunset. Bella told me stories of when she was younger, like how one boy had a crush on her and recruited their entire third grade class to help chase her at lunchtime just so that he could kiss her.

She rolled her eyes and laughed at the memory and I watched – entranced at how beautiful she was when she reminisced about the good times.

And the subject about James and Aiden was never touched.

We walked back to her house hand-in-hand and before walking up the driveway, she stopped. "So are you going to tell me how you got here so fast?" She raised her eyebrow.

I gave her a guilty smile. "I may or may not have caught the next flight after yours..."

Her eyes widened and she glared. "Edward Anthony Cullen-" she stopped herself and took a deep breath, her eyes softening. "Well... I guess I can't be too mad. You were right to be here, I needed you."

"Thank God," I breathed out and she let out a hearty laugh as she dragged me into the house.

I felt smug. I couldn't wait to tell Rose that I was right.

She gave me the grand tour after I greeted Renee and Phil, who were both standing at the door when we walked in.

And then Bella brought me up to her childhood bedroom, which seemed like it hadn't changed much as I took in the teenage feel of it.

I plopped down on her bed. "Purple walls? You were such a girl," I teased.

She snorted as she fingered some of the things on her dresser. "I was a loser. Note the bookcase," she pointed to the large white three tier book case along her wall, completely full except for a few empty spaces where I assumed she brought some with her to Charlie's.

I rolled my eyes. "Misunderstood," I corrected.

She laughed and came to lay beside me. "It's weird being here," she admitted, rubbing lazy circles on my chest, "and painful."

I grabbed her hand and kissed each finger. "I'm sorry. I wish I could take your pain away."

She shrugged. "It's not as bad as I thought it'd be, really. But that doesn't mean it's easy, you know?"

I nodded. "Are you going to go to his grave?" I asked quietly.

She didn't say anything for awhile. "His birthday's tomorrow. I think I should."

"Me too."

We laid together quietly for awhile, until a gentle knock on the door disrupted us.

"Hey, are you guys hungry?" Renee asked, peeking her head inside the door.

I looked over to Bella. I didn't know about her, but I was starving.

Bella cracked a smile. "Yeah. What's for supper?" she froze for a second, a look of horror on her face. "You didn't cook, did you?"

Renee rolled her eyes. "No, Bella. Phil cooked. And we're having spaghetti."

I sat up, pulling Bella with me, and grinned. "We'll be down in a minute."

She nodded and stepped out, closing the door behind her.

"You okay?" I asked Bella quietly.

She nodded against me and laughed when my stomach grumbled. "Let's go feed the beast," she sighed, standing up and offering me her hand.

**Bella Swan**

I could have freaked out. I could have went off on him like a complete psycho and not have been blamed. But to be honest, I was just glad he was here.

That's not to say I'm not mad he went behind my back though, because I am. And it's not to say he went without punishment either, because he didn't.

"Do I really need to sleep on the couch?" He groaned as I fluffed the pillow and chucked it at him. He put it half-heartedly on the end of my mother's bright beige sofa.

"No, but you're going to." I grinned and leaned down to kiss him. "Night."

He mumbled under his breath and offered a weak, "Goodnight," before trying to get comfortable.

I watched and laughed. The couch was far too small for him and his legs ended up hanging over the end, his feet poking out of the equally small blanket.

As soon as he stopped squirming and found a semi-permanent position, I flicked off the lights.

"And don't even think about sneaking upstairs, Edward. I mean it."

He huffed and flipped me off and I left him there, giggling as I climbed the stairs. He made being here less shitty, that was for sure.

I woke up feeling less happy, though. Because the reality of the day and where I was came crashing down and I was beginning to regret not being able to wake up snuggled in Edward's arms.

I sighed and climbed out of bed, trotting downstairs where Edward was awake and sipping from a mug.

I looked at the clock. 7:30.

I scratched my arm and walked up to him, taking the mug out of his hands and taking a long sip before handing it back.

"G' morning," I mumbled, hugging him to me. He set his coffee down and wrapped his arms around me.

"Morning."

"Will you take a shower with me?" I asked, because it always soothed me when he washed my hair for me.

He gave me a small smile. "What about your mom and Phil?"

I waved that off. "They won't care, Edward."

"Alright, just let me finish my coffee?" he asked. I nodded and poured myself a cup too.

We walked up the stairs hand in hand and I went to get towels while Edward turned on the shower. He helped me undress and then pulled off his t-shirt and kicked out of his sweats.

The shower was the perfect temperature, if not a little hotter than we usually set it. But this morning I needed the extra comfort a steamy shower offered. Edward took initiative and grabbed my mom's shampoo, squeezing a little into his palm before turning me around and messaging it into my hair.

I moaned as his fingers worked through some of my stress. He worked my hair longer than necessary and used the soapy foam from the shampoo to move onto my shoulders. I sighed and leaned against his back.

"Thank you," I murmured, my eyes closed as the water poured over us.

He placed a kiss under my ear. "Always."

--

"I'll be right here if you need me, Bella," Edward assured me as we sat in the car, facing the graveyard. I nodded but made no move to get out.

"Bella?"

"I just need a minute," I explained.

I took a deep breath and looked out the window. There were a few cars parked along the side of the road, but I couldn't see anyone around. It was really hot out, and it felt weird now that I was so used to Seattle's weather – the sun beating down on me so brutally.

I sighed and glanced over to Edward, who was staring at me nervously. "You sure you don't want me to come up with you?" he asked again – the third time since we left the house.

I nodded again, leaned over to kiss him on the cheek and slid out of the car.

The short walk to his grave felt like miles as I weaved around stones of people I didn't know. I hadn't been here since he was buried, but somehow I remembered exactly where he laid, where the stone – so much like all the other's – stood, a carved angel within the dark marble.

I stood above it silently, glancing down at the cursive writing which bared his name. The name of a son I wasn't ready for but craved none-the-less. The name of the son I lost.

The memories associated with him haunted me. Each time I scribbled something or another on the pages dedicated solely for him, I felt dread and pain. Because this wasn't just the two of us. No matter how much I tried to make it about me and him, there was always that shadow looming over us, blocking our sun.

Sometimes I wondered what it would be like, thinking back to him, my baby, – knowing that it wasn't anyone's fault – and smiling, just once. It was sad what happened – cruel even. Not even one day did I get to have him.

But those months he was in me, alive and fluttering around, those were months I wish I could look back at and cherish, instead of the bitter rage that consumed me.

I didn't realise I was crying until my tear hit the dark gray, leaving a small wet drop. I wiped my eyes and kneeled down so that I was closer to him.

"I'm sorry," I whispered. Sorry I hadn't come sooner. Sorry I failed to protect him inside of me. Sorry I couldn't smile for him, just once.

Sorry for everything.

A shadow, quite appropriately, covered over me and Aiden's grave and a deep, sad voice I hadn't heard in years choked out, "Me too."

**

* * *

Author's Note:** I mean, really. What is there to say?

- Janicee.


	16. Chapter 16

**Disclaimer: **I don't own _The Twilight Saga.

* * *

_

**Chapter 16**

**Bella Swan**

I flew up, my eyes wide and angry as I looked him over. His eyes were that same ice blue, but that seemed to be it. His hair was chopped off, his face sullen, and instead of that black leather jacket he constantly wore in my nightmares, he was dressed in a simple t-shirt and jeans.

I glared up at him. All those times I thought back to how little he made me feel – how broken. I never imagined ever needing to face him again, but today I was. And today I didn't feel little. No, today I felt like a lioness protecting her baby from the predator; even if he was already gone, and it was too late.

I stood between him and the stone, my eyes cut into slits. "What are you doing here?"

He sighed, staring passed me to _his_ grave. "It's his birthday," was all he said.

I nodded. "Yes. That doesn't answer my question though. _Why are you here_?"

His eyes rose to my face. He looked torn. I didn't care. "I'm here because he was my son, Bella."

"No." I shook my head. "No, James, you don't get to call him that. You weren't even at his fucking funeral!" I was livid.

He just nodded and frowned at the ground. "But I've been here every year, every birthday, since."

I scoffed. "That doesn't make up for it! You didn't admit he was yours when it counted! You let everyone believe I was some whore who pinned her baby on you. You let everyone blame me. You let them laugh and mock and throw insult after insult."

"Bella," he took a step closer and I moved back. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I hurt you. I was a complete asshole, a stupid little kid and everything I did," he gripped his hair, "it was inexcusable. And I'll never be able to make it up to you." He looked to the grave and added more quietly, "To him."

"You're right."

He looked pained. "I'm not the same person I was in high school, Bella. If I could take back what I did, to you and to him, I would. I wish I could, but I can't. I can only tell you I'm sorry." He took a deep breath.

"What do you want?" I asked then, my voice near silent. "Do you want me to say that I forgive you? To take away your guilt?"

He shook his head. "No. I don't ever expect you to forgive me. I just wanted you to know."

"Noted," I spat bitterly.

It grew quiet; an awkward, tense silence that ate away at me. I wanted him to leave. I never wanted to see him again.

I wanted to clock him in the face.

Finally, when I couldn't take it anymore, I spoke; soft but clear. "I don't understand," I shook my head. "What kind of person sits back and watches as people tear another apart? When I was being accused of _murdering _him, James, what were you off doing? Those very same things I was being blamed of while pregnant? Because that's what happened. It's bad enough that I had to go through just losing him, I had to put up with all of that goddamn bullshit too?"

He cursed under his breath, his hands roughly rubbing at his face. "Bella, I... I'm sorry."

Like that was enough.

I thought long and hard about what I wanted to say, what I needed to, to move past all of this once and for all and finally, with a deep breath, looked him square in the eye. "I get that it's been years and that people can change, because I know that I'm not the same timid, naive girl that I once was," I started. "So maybe you really are sorry," I shrugged, "and maybe you really have changed. But I can't forgive who you _were_," I told him strongly. "You humiliated me and hurt me, and broke me down. And for that, yeah sure, you're forgiven. But for him," I pointed down to my baby's grave, "I can't. Not after what you stole from him. What you did. He deserved more than that." I took a deep breath and shook my head. "So keep your apologies, I don't need or want them. And don't feel sorry for me. Because you're the one who has to live with knowing that he'll never be able to forgive you either."

And with that I walked away.

--

The rest of the trip went surprisingly okay. I told Edward about James, and despite the instant rage and desire to go find him, he respected my wishes of leaving him in the past.

I was okay, too. A weight was lifted from me that day. I don't know if it was from just going to the grave or seeing James or both, but things felt better. I felt better.

Today was our last day in Phoenix and tomorrow was Edward's birthday and I was going to give him a date, because I made him wait long enough.

We walked around town, going from shop to shop and visiting places I haven't been in years and that I found actually made me happy. We were holding hands, and I grinned as the big plastic ice cream cone caught my eye.

"Let's get an ice cream," I suggested, tugging on Edward's arm.

He looked so sexy with the little sheen of sweat across his forehead, his hair sticking up in every which way; hot and dishevelled. I liked my lips.

We stopped in front of the little store and got in the line that was a few people short.

When we got to the front, I nearly choked, my eyes went so wide. "You're fucking kidding me!" I laughed out loud.

Tanya. Tanya working in an ice cream shop. Tanya looking like she just got out of rehab working in an ice cream shop.

Maybe I should have come back sooner.

Her eyes matched mine as she recognized me. Then she noticed Edward. Then she looked back to me. Then she saw my ring.

Or maybe I purposely flashed her my ring. Whatever.

She narrowed her eyes.

I snorted. _Jealous._

Edward raised an eyebrow in question.

Instead of explaining, I smiled sweetly at her and said, "Tanya, I didn't know you worked... here."

Edward heard the stories – he knew who she was and what part she played in my past. So when I said her name, his face darkened.

"Uh... yeah," she answered. She looked over Edward again and like the slut she is, turned up the wannabe-charm and stuck her tits out. "Can I get you anything?" she purred.

Edward shook his head. "No thanks. I think we'll go somewhere else. I've heard _all_ about you and I'd rather you didn't handle my food." He flashed her an award-winning smile and led me away as I cackled at the look on her face.

"I don't think I've loved you more than just then," I told him, wheezing. He winked at me and pulled me into his arms. His chest was warm and damp and he smelt like boy. I pulled him down to me, planting my mouth on his.

He caught my bottom lip in between his teeth and let go, sweeping his tongue against mine and trailing his hands down my sides. I hummed against him and gasped when we pulled apart.

Taking a deep breath, I grabbed his hand. "Come on, I'll show you where I used to hang out."

We walked over to what was once my favorite café. It was right next to the local bookstore and had the most comfortable chairs ever.

"I used to come here before everything that happened," I told him as we found a seat near the window, "when I didn't have many friends and read to pass the time."

He gave me an odd look.

"What?"

He just shrugged and smiled at me. "I can picture it. You younger and sitting here with your nose in a book."

I rolled my eyes and sipped on my Ice Cap. "Renee used to bug me all the time about getting out of the house and making friends. So I'd tell her I was going out and just came here. It was win-win."

After we finished our drinks, we found Phil's car and headed to the mall. I wanted to get everybody something, just to show them my thanks for being there for me.

We got distracted, though, and ended up in a Halloween costume shop trying on funky wigs.

I had on a long spiky black wig that was meant to be Steven Tyler's hair from Aerosmith, while Edward was decked out in a cap-wig with a Mohawk and sideburns and a bunch of fake gold chains to complete the Mr. Hammer ensemble, when the lady who was working kindly asked us to leave.

We laughed and took off the costumes and headed back out into the mall.

"I'm hungry," Edward announced as he wrapped his hand around mine.

So we went up to the food court. "What do you want?" I asked as he looked around. It was the same as any other food court, really.

He shrugged and pointed to McDonalds. "Let's just grab a burger."

And so we did.

When we finished eating we went to work on seriously finding everyone something. I asked Edward if he could handle finding presents for Jazz and Emmett, because I didn't have an inkling of a clue as to what to get for them, but really so that I could shop for his birthday. He agreed and with a simple kiss, we each branched off.

First, I looked for the girls. I went into a small candle and bath shop, looked at perfumes and even clothes but nothing really stood out. Then I found this cute little Celtic boutique that was new to me and wandered in, looking at the unique designs on the jewelry.

"What is this?" I asked the lady, pointing down at the pendant beneath the glass. It was three silver spirals connected by the ends in the middle and for some reason, I was drawn to it.

She hummed and moved to look at it more closely. "Oh!" She smiled at me. "That, my dear, is the Triskelion Spiral."

"What does it mean?" I asked curiously. I knew little about Celtic symbols, but I knew that they all held meaning.

"It can mean many things but they all generally lead to the same point; letting go and moving forward. We see this in the spirals," she told me, pulling out the display box out and setting it on top of the counter, "as well as the connection each has to the other, attached in the middle. With that, we can assume a further message of union and awareness."

I was awed by how such a simple little design could mean so many powerful things. "It's beautiful," I breathed out.

She nodded and placed it back into the display box while I moved to look around the rest of the store.

I ended up leaving with three bracelets for both Rose and Alice and one for me. They were each silver with three circles interconnected as a charm. They weren't exactly cheap, but I could afford them. I figured they would be a more mature form of the friendship bracelets kids had.

And, with those two out of the way, there was only Edward.

I fingered the chain hanging from my neck as I looked throughout the mall. It was hard to find him a present that even remotely matched the significance of the necklace he had given me.

And then I saw it. It was still in the same place as it was years ago, same designs on the walls. Same name, same everything. I didn't even need to think about it as I took a step forward.

--

"Are you okay?" Edward asked as I winced. I bit my lip and nodded, trying not to give anything away.

"I'm fine," I managed to choke out. He gave me a look which said he didn't by it, but I wanted it to be a surprise. "Let's head back."

Edward had found a video game that Emmett had been looking for but was sold out at home and had come up with an idea on what we could do for Jasper, since he couldn't think of anything to buy.

The idea was that we should take all the pictures we had that included him and put together some sort of scrapbook, to sort of help him remember the times he still couldn't. It sounded good to me.

Back at my mom's, things turned a little sad. We were leaving tonight so that we would be home all tomorrow for Edward's birthday. Despite how relieved I felt, there was a part of me that didn't want to leave.

We were already packed so, before dinner, Mom and I showed him some pictures from my past. I blushed at the stupid ones from when I was a kid, one of which consisted of me dressed in a pink tutu in ballet class. I quickly learned that was not my calling. At all.

So there on my mother's couch, I showed him the rest of my history; the places I loved and even a few that had less pleasant memories as we flipped through books. There was some of me when I was just a little baby, playing in the bathtub or making a mess of my food, right up until I was fifteen. Then the pictures were few and far between until our high school graduation, where Edward was surprised to find that even he had a spot in the book, right next to me.

We ate, still high on the past and telling stories between bites.

"And so we went to the petting zoo even though she was in a cast and could barely move in her crutches," Mom said, squeezing Phil's arm because this was the first he'd heard of this embarrassing moment before. Edward was leaning in his chair, eager for any and all information about me. "And, stubborn as ever, she went right on in, determined." Mom chuckled and shook her head. "She leaned all of her weight onto her side and leaned down to pet the goat, and then turned and called out to me, 'Look Mom! I told you I could do it!'," she fake hollered in a little child-like voice. I rolled my eyes. I sounded nothing like that. "And just as she said it," she continued with a giggle, "a sheep ran by and knocked her right down into a pile of manure! We never went back again."

Everyone at the table laughed and I sunk down on the chair, my cheeks hot.

"How come there aren't any pictures of that?" Edward asked mom, a goofy smile on his face.

She beamed at him. "Oh, there are! I just have to keep them hidden. We wouldn't want anything to happen to them." She smirked at me.

I rolled my eyes.

And so she got up and got the rest of my most embarrassing moments hidden away in her closet.

--

It was dark by the time we pulled up to the airport. Phil helped Edward with the luggage while I hugged my mom goodbye.

"I'm really glad I came, Mom," I told her honestly. She sighed and tightened her arms around me. I bit down on my lip to hide the pain.

"Me too, baby."

They drove off with a final wave and I sighed, falling back into Edward's chest. We stood there for a little while before holding hands and walking towards the terminal.

But right before we reached the door, I stopped.

"Are you okay?" Edward asked.

I nodded, holding my finger up and closed my eyes.

This trip was about accepting everything that had happened and moving forward. I did that.

But, more than that, it was about learning what to hold onto and what to let go.

So, for the first time, right before I stepped inside, I forgot about all of the pain that surrounded me as I looked up to the sky and smiled.

Just for him.

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Author's Note:** James was necessary. Tanya was just fun.

Tried to get this one out quicker, so let me know if there are any mistakes and I'll fix them.

One more left. I may do outtakes and I'm kind of divided between two endings. So if I don't decide, there will either be alternative endings, or a flash-forward outtake. Eh.

Thanks for the support and reading and whatnot.

- Janicee.


	17. Epilogue

**Disclaimer: **I don't own _The Twilight Saga.

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**Epilogue: Glimpses **

**Bella Swan: June 20****th**** 2009**

"Holy shit!" Edward gazed down at my new tattoo in bewilderment. He traced the simple design which connected to the 'A' of my son's name. Two other swirls branched off, each with their own letter at the end: B and E – only noticeable if you knew what to look for.

This was my family, three different people all traveling our own paths, but all connected.

"When did you get this?" he breathed. It was a small design, nothing too over the top, the same design that had caught my eye in Phoenix.

"Uh... yesterday." It was technically yesterday. We had just gotten home a little over an hour ago. I smiled sheepishly. "Happy birthday."

His head popped up. "This is my birthday present?" He pointed back down; his eyes were wide and childlike.

I shrugged. "Not the tattoo, really. That's more for me. But I guess what the design stands for." I leaned forward and kissed him. "I'm giving you my future, moving forward with you. That's all I have to give." I reached to our bedside table and grabbed a piece of paper from the drawer, handing it over to Edward.

On that piece of paper were three things: One, a single date in the top right hand corner. Two, a location. And three, the number to confirm.

"It's all there; all you need to do is call the church."

Again, wide eyes met mine. "Really?" he asked.

I shrugged and nodded.

He flew off the bed – which was quite comical in his state of undress – and struggled with his pants on the floor.

"Ah ha!" He held his cell phone up proudly and quickly dialled the number.

I watched in amusement as his smile quickly faded from his face, hanging up the phone dejectedly.

"Yeah... turns out the church isn't open at one AM."

**Bella Swan: August 10****th**** 2009**

"Edward!"

Silence.

He was here somewhere. I knew he was.

"Edward Anthony – _you're about to die _– Cullen, if you don't come out in point-two seconds, I can't be held responsible for what goes down!"

I stomped through the hall angrily, a noise in the closet stopping me in my tracks. I yanked the door open to see Edward cowering in there and shook my head.

"What did we talk about?" I asked him. "What were the rules?"

"Uh... don't listen to Emmett... ever."

"And what did you do Edward?"

He winced. "Listened to Emmett."

"And what happened when you listened to Emmett, _Edward_?"

"Made a mess?" he squeaked.

I snorted and threw the door open so that he could see what I was blocking. "A mess? What are you, nine? Brook is more mature than the two of you."

I turned and glared at the wet balls of paper towel that now covered my usually clean apartment. "What the fuck gave you guys that brilliant idea?" I pointed to it.

He gulped. "We may have been watching friends... you know... 'The One Where Ross Dates A Student'..."

I raised my eyebrow. This was ridiculous; I was supposed to marry someone influenced by_ Joey_ on _Friends_? I groaned and shook my head. I should have known that the same boy whose idea of an April fool's prank was to put a bus on the school was still in there somewhere.

I sighed. "I'm not cleaning it up."

**Bella Swan: November 3****rd**** 2009**

"It's okay," I held Edward to me, his quiet sobs rocking through him. There wasn't anything to fix this. There was no way. It was life, something he had to work through if he wanted to be a doctor. As much as it sucked and I hated it, people died. "Shh... it's okay."

He gripped me tighter and shook, a hushed wail escaping his lips. It was so hard on him. He did so much, but sometimes, no matter how equipped you are... there's just nothing you could do.

**Bella Swan: December 31****st**** 2009**

I bit my lip, my dress was beautiful and perfect and so tight I couldn't breathe. I gripped onto my dad's arm and looked around; an end of the year wedding, a new year's honeymoon. That's what I wanted.

"You ready for this, Bells?"

I peeked through the door, just a little. Edward was in there, nervous and waiting.

I nodded.

Then the music began, the same music many women walked to before me. Charlie held me firm, keeping his promise of not letting me fall, and everything disappeared as soon as we locked eyes.

He was beautiful and no longer looked worried, but peaceful. I no longer felt worried, but peaceful.

I was so, so ready to be his wife.

Our vows were traditional, nothing unique but no less meaningful – no less true.

Our kiss was longer than it should have been in a group full of people watching us, but we paid no mind.

Our love was strong.

**Bella Cullen: April 17****th**** 2011**

"I'm pregnant."

Was I nervous? _Yes_. Was I terrified? _Completely_. Was I excited? _Most definitely_.

His wide eyes stared back at me, and then glanced to the small little white stick in my hands.

"We're ready for this, right?" I asked, like we even had a choice anymore. We decided we would start trying a year after our wedding. It took a few extra months.

He blinked at me.

"Edward?" I asked, starting to freak out. "We're ready, _right_?"

He shook himself out of it, a wide grin spreading across his face as he walked over and pulled me into his arms. "Yeah, Bel. We're ready."

**Bella Cullen: September 1****st**** 2011**

I was freaking out. My dreams were so vivid; a little boy, lifeless in my arms. It felt like ten years earlier, me still that same little girl I once was; lost. It felt like everything was going against me.

What happened if this baby didn't make it? It was around the same time I was when it all happened so, so quickly. I wouldn't be able to handle another loss like that. I couldn't.

Edward had called my therapist and told me to talk to her.

Was she helping? A little. But my fears were still there, no matter how healthy the doctors told me I was.

**Bella Cullen: December 2****nd**** 2011**

"Uh... Edward?"

"Yeah?" he yelled from the kitchen.

"I'm no doctor, but I'm pretty sure my water just broke."

Silence.

And then he flew from the kitchen, eyes panicked and adorable. He looked at me - to the wet spot between my legs - to my stomach.

"Oh, shit!" he yelled, twirling around in a circle, looking frantic. "I forget what I'm supposed to do! How could I forget what I'm supposed to do?"

I rolled my eyes and walked passed him to our room.

"Where are you going?!" he demanded. I snorted.

"To change. I don't want to look like I wet myself when we get to the hospital."

His mouth popped open and he slapped his forehead, pointing at me. "The hospital!"

I laughed and walked into our room, cringing a little as I peeled off the sweats I was wearing and slipped into another pair. I couldn't wait until I could wear jeans again.

"Is the bag in the car?" I asked him, strangely calm, when I walked out, purse in hand.

He hadn't moved from his spot and was breathing funny. I sighed and grabbed the phone to let everyone know.

After Esme promised to call everyone else, I hung up and looked to Edward, who still frozen in his spot.

"Come on, Daddy, time to go."

He snapped out of it. "Right," he nodded, "the hospital."

I grabbed the keys. "Maybe I should drive."

**Bella Cullen: December 3****rd**** 2011**

Sixteen mother fucking hours of labour. Six. _Teen_.

This child had better never talk back to me.

I waited for the cry like my life depended on it and, in some ways, it did. It took twenty three excruciating seconds before my baby let out the most beautiful wail, if one could ever be.

I was completely worn out, the last push seemingly taking the rest of my energy with it. I fought exhaustion, waiting for them to hand me my baby.

"Congratulations, parents, you have a baby girl!"

The nurse handed me her, bundled up in a soft pink little blanket and a cute little hat. Her eyes were wide and curious and she was wrinkly and her skin was pink and soft and I just wanted to cuddle her forever.

She was perfect.

"A girl," Edward whispered beside me.

I nodded, tears leaking from my eyes as I struggled to speak. "Yeah, a girl."

**Bella Cullen: December 3****rd**** 2018**

Edward and I looked at each other and grinned, shushing the noisy bunch behind us.

"Ready?" I asked him. He nodded and looked back at everyone else – aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins – all wearing the same mischievous grins as we did.

"On the count of three," I whispered.

"One." We inched closer to the door.

"Two." Edward placed a hand on the doorknob.

"Three!" we all screamed together as he flung open the door. Abby, my just-turned seven year old, screamed when she saw us and pulled the covers over her head.

"No, Daddy!" she squealed when he used his free hand to tickle her through the blankets. He laughed and all the kids bounded in, jumping onto the bed to help dig her out.

She somehow slid off the bed and made a run for it, sliding underneath Emmett's legs. He boomed out in laugher and grabbed her foot, sliding her right back into her room.

"Quick, hold her!" I yelled and laughed as she squirmed, giggling and gasping and squealing.

He held her up and his son Alec, who was six, grabbed onto her legs so that she couldn't kick.

Edward wiggled the buttery finger in her face, torturing her much like he did to me... every year.

It was so much more fun when it was her.

She kept moving her head, scrunching her nose so that he couldn't get it. Oh... but he did.

We all laughed as she let out an adorable, "_Ewwww_," as he smudged it all over her face and gave her a loud, wet kiss on the cheek. The room erupted into laughter and Emmett let her go. She immediately ran to Esme where she stood, holding a face cloth.

She wiped her face eagerly and looked around the room. "Is it too early for cake?"

**The last Bella Cullen: Date unknown**

Abby knew about Aiden. Not everything, but she knew enough: that she had a brother and that he was in Heaven.

And every June we went to his grave with a bouquet of flowers and a years' worth of memories.

Abby didn't understand at first, us going to a stone, me crying, Edward comforting me. But she eventually did, and was soon telling him all about her life, who her best friends were, their cousins, what shows she liked to watch on TV. And when she was finished, she'd never say goodbye, just a small, "I love you and I'll talk to you next year," and then she'd hug me and tell me not to cry.

I couldn't help it.

The rest of our trip was always happy. We'd visit my mom and go out and explore – nothing holding us back. My baby loved the sun, loved playing with chalk and skipping and doing other things little girls loved to do. But she didn't mind the rain either, because she liked to jump in puddles just as much.

As the years went on, and she got older, she began to write and liked to draw, much like me, and wanted to be a doctor like her father. She had my dark brown hair and Edward's bright green eyes and pale skin just like the both of us.

He taught her how to tie her shoes. I taught her to cook. He showed her how to play the piano and I did her hair.

And one day, she wouldn't need either of us.

But every year, even when she no longer lived with us and was off to school, we would all go to Phoenix: every June. Because Aiden... he was something to hold on to.

Not James – who I never saw again and didn't need to. Not Tanya or Kate, or any other petty girls who did their best to make my life miserable when I didn't think it could get any worse. Not Mike, or Jessica, or Lauren.

Because _I'm_ the one who chose to move forward when all they did was try and hold me back.

_I'm_ the one who stood up, who learned to love and to trust and what to let go.

And _I'm_ the one who goes to bed every night with a smile on my face.

They could have their jokes, their games, and their cruelty.

I had my happily ever after.

**The end**

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Author's Note: **Turns out, this isn't either of the ways I was going to end it. It just happened that way. Thanks for reading everyone, hope you didn't hate it and all that.

- Janicee.


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